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How did you move on?


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Posted

I'm finally embracing the heartbreak. But also can't help but think about him in the process of it.

 

how do I, in the healthiest way possible, move on and forget him and embrace a new version of myself that no longer needs him? 

I know in my heart that there's more to come, greater things to go through, happier times to be a part of. But he somehow makes his way into my thoughts and it sucks. 
 

Help me!

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Posted

Don't try to forget. Embrace everything good he gave you, treasure it, put it in a safe in your heart and keep going.

 

Storms don't last forever, unless you're in Jupiter (:thing:), but yeah.

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Posted

I know it sounds cliche but the biggest thing I learned is it really just takes time… then slowly you’ll care less and less but you have to allow yourself to go through the different stages

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Posted
1 minute ago, Mastamaind said:

Don't try to forget. Embrace everything good he gave you, treasure it, put it in a safe in your heart and keep going.

 

Storms don't last forever, unless you're in Jupiter (:thing:), but yeah.

How long till the memory of him stops disturbing your mind though? I wanna forget him, I spent a week doing all my all to focus on me, and it actually worked.
 

Then suddenly on a Sunday night he showed up in my head and it made the whole process harder. Tomorrow I hope it's better :) 

Posted

 

Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, kweenofxanax said:

How long till the memory of him stops disturbing your mind though? I wanna forget him, I spent a week doing all my all to focus on me, and it actually worked.
 

Then suddenly on a Sunday night he showed up in my head and it made the whole process harder. Tomorrow I hope it's better :) 

Really depends on the nature of your relationship. How deep is the love?

 

The memories will most likely not stop (don't repress them, it gets worse like that), it's your heart telling you you still love him. You just have to deal with the reality of the situation, once you make peace with whatever happened, the memories will not be that painful and will actually make you smile, and you'll be glad for everything good that happened. Kinda like doing something cringy/embarassing but then remembering months later and laughing about it.

 

You could probably cry again after making peace with it, but there'll be more happy tears between those painful tears, if you know what I mean.

 

Love is real, it just gets muddled between the lust obsession, especially nowadays.

Edited by Mastamaind
Posted
3 minutes ago, Bloodflowers. said:

 

Vid is not avail. Tell me what you sent? :cupid:

Posted
1 minute ago, kweenofxanax said:

Vid is not avail. Tell me what you sent? :cupid:

 

Kylie Minogue - Gotta Move On

 

That's what I've been listening when I was heartbroken, Kylie spoke nothing but facts in the lyrics!

 

Posted
Just now, Bloodflowers. said:

 

Kylie Minogue - Gotta Move On

 

That's what I've been listening when I was heartbroken, Kylie spoke nothing but facts in the lyrics!

 

I can't believe that me, an Australian queen, was given an unavail vid from the Australian legend herself haha

Anyways, thank you! i am gonna listen to the song and hopefully it will kickstart something

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Posted

 

 

 

 

 

Posted

 

1. Acknowledge: First, remember that you helped to make the relationship what it was and that a piece of that spark is still in you

2. Appreciate: Be thankful for the wonderful memories and the opportunity to grow and learn - the relationship taught you things you enjoyed as well as don't. You'll be even better at dating the next person or re-dating your ex

3. Live now: love yourself extra hard by doing things you enjoy, find some new hobbies and remember that love never leaves you

4. ATRL is cheering for you, we may shade your fave but in the end it's all love and we wish everyone a joyous loving life off the web. (oh resist the urge to listen to sad songs, listen to hopeful songs instead like Diamonds)

5. You got this.

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Posted
1 minute ago, Kayseri Mantisi said:

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reminding me of these legendary songs. It reminds me that a million other people are going through it too.

Somehow that helps but also you get so caught up in your pain that you forget it's not just you who's hurting,

 

 

Posted


Serious answer though: give it time. And allow yourself to also feel sad, disappointed, angry. Don’t push those feelings away. It’s very normal for you to feel those emotions and for you to process them.

 

Keep a journal. Describe how you feel. Maybe, over time you will start to notice you are doing better :heart:

Posted
9 minutes ago, Kayseri Mantisi said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry for some reason ATRL deleted my response. I had a whole paragraph for you but now its gone :(

Posted
2 minutes ago, Love Again said:


Serious answer though: give it time. And allow yourself to also feel sad, disappointed, angry. Don’t push those feelings away. It’s very normal for you to feel those emotions and for you to process them.

 

Keep a journal. Describe how you feel. Maybe, over time you will start to notice you are doing better :heart:

I am currently feeling all the emotions. And embracing all that came with what I felt. The goal now, as fast possible, is to move on from it all. He doesn't deserve it.

Posted
Just now, kweenofxanax said:

I am currently feeling all the emotions. And embracing all that came with what I felt. The goal now, as fast possible, is to move on from it all. He doesn't deserve it.

Yeah but sometimes you can't move on from it as fast as possible. That's the whole thing with breakups, the aftermath of it is almost always different than you'd expect

Posted
4 minutes ago, kweenofxanax said:

Sorry for some reason ATRL deleted my response. I had a whole paragraph for you but now its gone :(

I see it :heart: I think it added it to my quote lol, ATRL formatting sucks sometimes

Posted
2 minutes ago, Love Again said:

Yeah but sometimes you can't move on from it as fast as possible. That's the whole thing with breakups, the aftermath of it is almost always different than you'd expect

The saddest part is, you already know they moved on and they seem happier than ever. 

Posted

Acceptance and time. Also, take care of yourself. Give yourself the love you deserve, as cringey as that may sound.

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Posted
2 minutes ago, WitnessOblivia said:

Acceptance and time. Also, take care of yourself. Give yourself the love you deserve, as cringey as that may sound.

That's all I'm giving to myself. It's just hard when they show up in my mind from time to time :deadbanana4:

Posted

Every song I used to love, I shared it with them and now...when I listen to the same songs, it f*cking hurts cause it reminds me of them. I'm so angry because I loved these songs so much, why did I have to attach it to him?

Posted

Give yourself time to wallow in the sadness but also just make plans with friends and do fun stuff you enjoy. The more you just get on with your life and enjoy things and make new memories, the easier it will be to distance yourself from painful memories. I went through a break up that really upset me years ago and I let myself feel all the grief but when I did just make plans and physically put myself in fun situations with friends I trust it really helped me heal more than just letting myself obsess about it. It’s different for everyone of course but I do think doing things to uplift your spirits will help. 

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Posted
10 minutes ago, SleepNoMore said:

Give yourself time to wallow in the sadness but also just make plans with friends and do fun stuff you enjoy. The more you just get on with your life and enjoy things and make new memories, the easier it will be to distance yourself from painful memories. I went through a break up that really upset me years ago and I let myself feel all the grief but when I did just make plans and physically put myself in fun situations with friends I trust it really helped me heal more than just letting myself obsess about it. It’s different for everyone of course but I do think doing things to uplift your spirits will help. 

This makes so much sense. Thank you so much.

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Posted

I wanna add, entertainment and distractions do work. If you can focus on them being healing content, like psychological content, you're helping yourself 2x.

 

I recommend this popular psychology YouTube channel if you don't already know it:

 

 

Posted (edited)

you'll just have to wing it I guess. i've asked tons of people before on how to do it and I followed everything they said but still didn't work

It felt like the end of the world for me :toofunny3: I was young and dumb and today the man doesn't even cross my mind like at all and i've met countless hotter (and better men after him)

feel all your feelings. don't try to forget about it or whatever. you'll get tired of it eventually and one day you'll wake up and say okay enough I deserve better and I dont wanna feel sad forever

 

it sucks. sending you love bb :heart:

 

 

 

Edited by MonsterNavy
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