suneclipse121 Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 14 minutes ago, Danny789 said: Ya’ll don’t know the difference between being in a open relationship and polyamory I personally don’t want either of them
Danny789 Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 6 hours ago, suneclipse121 said: I personally don’t want either of them And I love that for you but every type of relationship is valid. It makes no sense to be complaining about people who want what you don’t want. If it works for them then that’s all the matters.
Minogue Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 Gays didn’t crack any code with open relationships I’m sorry. Glad there are people that it works for but the argument that it’s natural therefore it’s ideal is ridicules. Not everything that’s natural should be done. If anything what IS natural is extreme feeling of jealousy and that’s without getting into the health risk and anxiety associated with your partner having casual sex. when your partner is with someone else. If we’re talking about heterosexual relationships, monogamy was definitely the most ideal way to raise and continue the blood line in an effective and healthy way throughout history and we see it throughout cultures that value monogamy. I don’t cancel out open relationships I’m sure it works but monogamy should be ideal
DamianSolo Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 I'm seeing more of that as time goes on, and it is—indeed—disappointing. I've come across several guys within the past year who were interested in me, but they all ended up being in an open relationship. And that's something I just can't go along with, at all. More power to those who can. It's just very disappointing, when I'm in search of an actual monogamous relationship.
Jaguarqueef Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 It’s also always the ugliest couples that are poly/looking for a third. No, I will not be your unicorn, Shrek and Fiona. 1 2
JayG Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 11 hours ago, Jormungand said: Dating when you're LGBTQIA+ in general is really difficult. I especially feel for my brethrens who are black and embrace their feminine energy because it's almost impossible for them to find healthy intimate relationships. I'm a hopeless romantic and open relationships will never work for me, even after trying to entertain one a couple years back. I don't think you can necessarily point to open relationships as being the reason why the dating pool is the way it is. I think there are several factors at play and honestly some people just want to be single so they can avoid the potential drama that comes with a relationship. My last ex was so toxic that I've put off dating for a while, but you will not find me in these streets bussing it wide open for anyone. Yuh
cockatoo Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 I feel like people online really overexaggerate how commonplace open relationships are. I can't say they're something I've ever encountered irl and no one I've dated has ever expressed it as something they're interested in doing
Cheers Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 It’s interesting. I feel like the gay dating apps are filled with open couples, men looking for trans women, and a bunch of bottoms. We keep losing! 1
Twilish Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 The only open relationships i understand is one where both partners engage in stuff with a 3rd party etc? I feel like being open but sleeping separately with other people makes no sense and also just sounds scary for health reasons etc.
Katamari Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 16 minutes ago, Cheers said: It’s interesting. I feel like the gay dating apps are filled with open couples, men looking for trans women, and a bunch of bottoms. We keep losing!
suneclipse121 Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 (edited) 5 hours ago, Danny789 said: And I love that for you but every type of relationship is valid. It makes no sense to be complaining about people who want what you don’t want. If it works for them then that’s all the matters. Oh I never said it wasn’t valid or complained about it I just said it wasn’t for me. More power to the people who can find a happy and fulfilling relationship in general. Edited June 17, 2023 by suneclipse121
AMIT Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 15 hours ago, TheCheshireCat said: Open relationships are like gay pyramid schemes, it's good when you get in early but it's hell when you are the third and are totally disposable. no but you are so right Like I myself have never been in one, but it sounds appealing, it's like having your cake and getting to eat it too. On the other hand since I am single right now I am very upfront about not hooking up with anyone that is already tied in any kind of romantic relationship, and I guess that's the best I can do about it? Otherwise the gays that are in a relationship get with me but then go back to their actual mans and I get left with what? exactly
Sergi91 Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 It’s always the ugliest gays lookin for a third they are obviously unhappy with what they got.
spree Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 if you're thinking about someone else while your bf is sucking your dick or ******* you then you've already crossed into that territory, imo. I feel I'll eventually be in one. The urges are just too strong. We're men. We are wired to ****. It's basic biology. Why torture yourself for your whole life when you only live once? I can love my boyfriend and eat some ass on the side for 10 minutes, can't I? 1
Lemon Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 34 minutes ago, spree said: if you're thinking about someone else while your bf is sucking your dick or ******* you then you've already crossed into that territory, imo. I feel I'll eventually be in one. The urges are just too strong. We're men. We are wired to ****. It's basic biology. Why torture yourself for your whole life when you only live once? I can love my boyfriend and eat some ass on the side for 10 minutes, can't I? I mean, do what you want, but we also **** in toilet and not in nature, etc. People are not just instinctly driven. 1 1
Minogue Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 (edited) 41 minutes ago, spree said: if you're thinking about someone else while your bf is sucking your dick or ******* you then you've already crossed into that territory, imo. I feel I'll eventually be in one. The urges are just too strong. We're men. We are wired to ****. It's basic biology. Why torture yourself for your whole life when you only live once? I can love my boyfriend and eat some ass on the side for 10 minutes, can't I? Sounds like you don’t take sex seriously as a bonding experience, which it literally is from a biological standpoint, just as being hardwired to ****. By that logic you also don’t deprive yourself of anything cause you can literally have sex with your boyfriend, which ideally should be a great sexual experience. now if you’re not attracted or sexually challenged by your bf, that’s a different discussion but then I don’t think open relationship is the solution. Edited June 17, 2023 by Minogue 1
teresaguidice Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 5 hours ago, cockatoo said: I feel like people online really overexaggerate how commonplace open relationships are. I can't say they're something I've ever encountered irl and no one I've dated has ever expressed it as something they're interested in doing where do you live? virtually every gay couple i know in NYC is some level of open OT: i'm always a little perplexed at how puritanical and judgy ATRL is on this topic. you should be in a relationship with parameters that feel safe and right for you. if that's strict monogamy, great. if that's not, great. if guys you're into want open relationships, you're clearly not compatible. as you can see from this thread, there's plenty of gay men who want monogamy. 1
Cyanide Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 I’m not sure. At this point I am taking what I can get Bottoms, we either have to transition or be down for an open relationship to hold down a top these days, that’s just how it is! 1
AMIT Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 2 minutes ago, Cyanide said: I’m not sure. At this point I am taking what I can get Bottoms, we either have to transition or be down for an open relationship to hold down a top these days, that’s just how it is! mess
Cyanide Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 53 minutes ago, AMIT said: mess I’ve been hanging out and hooking up with someone in an OR and he never talks about the BF and it doesn’t seem like they see each other that often despite living in the same city. Like why r u calling and checking in to see how my day is going every day when u have a whole man. Me last year would be confused as hell and scratching my head, but woke me knows better than to question it
brooklyndaddy Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 20 hours ago, Tropez said: It’s about time we have this conversation. The gay dating pool is tiny as it is. And it’s even more restricted based on sex position, body type, race, and age. So you can have 1000 gays in your area, but only be compatible with 50. Now guys in open relationships already have a man. They are now double dipping in a puddle. That just feels greedy to me. People can have relationships however they want. I don’t care. But it’s annoying seeing a guy that checks all your boxes but he’s in an open relationship. The self entitled attitude from this is so off putting Maybe this is part of why loyal men don’t want you. I’m personally three years deep in an amazing monogamous relationship and wouldn’t have it any other way but that’s just me. I’m sure plenty of poly/open people feel the same way you do but about people in monogamous relationships
brooklyndaddy Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 3 hours ago, Sergi91 said: It’s always the ugliest gays lookin for a third they are obviously unhappy with what they got. This is true though, it’s always the uglies
Tropez Posted June 18, 2023 Author Posted June 18, 2023 1 hour ago, brooklyndaddy said: The self entitled attitude from this is so off putting Maybe this is part of why loyal men don’t want you. I’m personally three years deep in an amazing monogamous relationship and wouldn’t have it any other way but that’s just me. I’m sure plenty of poly/open people feel the same way you do but about people in monogamous relationships That’s literally not what I am talking about. 1
toxicgenie Posted June 18, 2023 Posted June 18, 2023 People in open relationships are an instant no for me... not interested at all.
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