discussion I'm in a very embarrassing situation with a guy who is in love with me

[MoonGoodandHappy]

So i'm single for 3 month now and since, i felt very lonely and my best friend was like "you should get another guy" so i met another guy on Grindr and the first day we met we kissed each others, hugged a lot and it made me feel so good, but after that day i realized that i was not attracted by him at all and i just wanted to feel desirable... and i was feeling bad because i don't like to use people. I saw him a second time after that even if i knew i was not attracted by him because he gave me cute messages and i was like maybe i could just be in love with his heart even if i'm not attracted by him physically. But that day i knew that... no i need to be attracted physically to a guy to have a real relationship. The problem is that we saw each others only 2 day in 1 month but he is already in love with me and send me text like "i love you baby" and now i feel guilty because i just wanted to have good moments after my breakup but i'm not attracted by him at all but he is... And and I can't tell him he's not attractive to me. I'm afraid to hurt him... he is so sweet.... but at the same time we only talk for 1 month and saw each others 2 times... so i don't understand how he can be so emotionally attached to me... I told him today that my last breakup was to recent and that i was not ready for a relationship (i don't want to tell him that i'm not attracted by him because i don't want to hurt his feelings)  and he was like "i will wait for you, i love you my love..." So i don't know what to do. And he wanted to met me this week and i accepted because i don't want to hurt him.... I feel trapped.

Edited May 29, 2023 by MoonGoodandHappy

[Vroom Vroom]

Tell him you are not interested and block him. You owe him nothing. He’s practically a stranger 

[suburbannature]

Just tell him. Your fear of hurting his feelings is causing him more heartache instead of ripping off the bandaid. 

[Matthew4815]

Truth > lies.

[HeavyMetalAura]

No offense to him but if he’s saying “I love you baby” after meeting you TWICE… then he probably has major issues he’s got to work out (no shame in that, we all have issues) and you shouldn’t feel bad telling him you aren’t interested on those grounds alone.

 

I would absolutely be weirded out if someone said “I love you” after two dates.

[Happylittlepunk]

1 minute ago, HeavyMetalAura said:

No offense to him but if he’s saying “I love you baby” after meeting you TWICE… then he probably has major issues he’s got to work out (no shame in that, we all have issues) and you shouldn’t feel bad telling him you aren’t interested on those grounds alone.

 

I would absolutely be weirded out if someone said “I love you” after two dates.

You nailed it. 

[Cheers]

You owe that obsessed freak nothing. Block him! How’re you saying “I love you” after 2 days..

[MoonGoodandHappy]

9 minutes ago, Vroom Vroom said:

Tell him you are not interested and block him. You owe him nothing. He’s practically a stranger 

 

8 minutes ago, suburbannature said:

Just tell him. Your fear of hurting his feelings is causing him more heartache instead of ripping off the bandaid. 

 

4 minutes ago, HeavyMetalAura said:

No offense to him but if he’s saying “I love you baby” after meeting you TWICE… then he probably has major issues he’s got to work out (no shame in that, we all have issues) and you shouldn’t feel bad telling him you aren’t interested on those grounds alone.

 

I would absolutely be weirded out if someone said “I love you” after two dates.

Thank you.  Yeah... i think i will block him... but i'm scared because he know where i work (i told him at the first date i'm dumb af) and i'm like he is so bizarre to be like that... i'm scared he becomes angry and try to find me...

[EtherealCat]

two times and thats how he behaves, time to run 

[Gaia]

Maybe not block him outright. At least offer an explanation. Social media has really people savages for that to be everyone’s recommendation… 

[UnusualBoy]

Not these hags telling you to block him when you basically only wanted to be with him to kill your loneliness. Both parts have issues that need to be dealt with.

 

But anyway, just tell him that you're not interested in a relationship and keep your distance, especially if you don't know what his reaction is going to be.

Edited May 29, 2023 by UnusualBoy

[SleepNoMore]

You already told him you don’t want a relationship and he said he would wait for you. He obviously isn’t getting it. Totally block him, but if you’re worried about his feelings or that he’ll try to find you, maybe say something like “hi. It was great to meet you. However I’m sorry but I’m not interested in pursuing this.  I really wish you the best, take care!”  
 

if he doesn’t respect that then block him. At least this wag the guy will have firm closure and will get why you blocked him. 

[WitnessOblivia]

21 minutes ago, HeavyMetalAura said:

No offense to him but if he’s saying “I love you baby” after meeting you TWICE… then he probably has major issues he’s got to work out (no shame in that, we all have issues) and you shouldn’t feel bad telling him you aren’t interested on those grounds alone.

 

I would absolutely be weirded out if someone said “I love you” after two dates.

Honestly, this.

 

Tell him the truth, but do it respectfully.

[TaggedGalaxy]

Really ******* weird to be telling someone that they love you after only meeting you 2 times, psycho behavior

 

I would tell him that you aren't looking for anything serious and it's best that you don't see each other anymore if he thinks he is falling for you then block him

[Delirious]

girl...dont block him what....

 

just say you think the relationship cant work because of age or sumn or because youre an introvert or whatever

and you will HAVE TO move on from this

 

this

a) doesnt make him mad

b) doesnt make him harrass you if he really was a creep

c) you will feel good about this

Edited May 29, 2023 by Delirious

[Keter]

The core issue here is not speaking up. For the future, clear communication = clear understanding. Don’t go out multiple times with someone you’re not attracted to. Tell him “thanks but I’m not interested in longterm dating right now.” 

[Delirious]

like blocking him will escalate things if he truly was a psycho guys...like??

 

I mean you never know these days

 

You guys are right, saying i love you after 2 dates is creepy so you need to deescalate the breakup

4 minutes ago, Keter said:

The core issue here is not speaking up. For the future, clear communication = clear understanding. Don’t go out multiple times with someone you’re not attracted to. Tell him “thanks but I’m not interested in longterm dating right now.” 

this but at the same time it's a little too late for that esp when OP's date might be a psycho

[Henry Torres]

It's important to prioritize your feelings and be honest with yourself and others. If you're not attracted to him, it's better to have an open conversation about it rather than leading him on. Be kind but clear about your feelings to avoid prolonging a situation that isn't fulfilling for either of you. Remember to prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

[GabeInPolaroids]

DON'T block him. Do everything, but ghosting him. It's cruel. It's not your problem, of course, but if you do that you'll only get him to be misarable. As you told he's already emotionally "unstable" for saying he loves you after seeing you two times, so just vanishing would be terrible for him.

 

I think it would be extra kind of you if you were the person to say to him that he needs to think about his decisions and emotions. Just say you don't want to keep building his hopes up and somehow manage to put in the conversation that you're not confortable with the "I love you"s and "I'll wait for you"s he's been sending due to all being so recent and then move on.

 

That way you'll do your part beautifully and maybe you'll get him to see that if keeps doing that, he'll only get more and more hurt.

Edited May 29, 2023 by GabeInPolaroids

[State of Grace.]

Not him love bombing you after meeting only twice...

 

I've been in your shoes before and trust me being honest and telling him that you're not interested is always better than leading him on. The longer you wait and try to force it, the worse it gets for both of you. 

 

Don't block/ghost him though. That's extremely childish and cowardly.

[Illuminati]

If he's so into you I'd say try to let him down easy. And you should do it soon without leading him on

[Littlejfrey]

Not the gheys in here saying "block him" as a "solution"  

just be honest with him, tell him you don't feel that romantic attraction towards him and thats a shame because you find him so sweet, but you can't force your feelings. I'm sure that's much less hurtful (and it might actually be helpful for him) than blocking him. 

[getBusy]

Unless you clearly tell him you’re not interested, you’re lying to his face and that’s not acceptable. You’re not doing him any favors by hiding the real reason. It’s only convenient to you. 

[CBC]

block him asap 

[Zoomer]

48 minutes ago, MoonGoodandHappy said:

 

 

Thank you.  Yeah... i think i will block him... but i'm scared because he know where i work (i told him at the first date i'm dumb af) and i'm like he is so bizarre to be like that... i'm scared he becomes angry and try to find me...

Tell him about your true feelings first, be gentle and respectful. Don’t just block him, give him the courtesy of honesty