MotoPapi Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 Most of my gay friends are femme and some even dress up as women sometimes but there’s nothing about them I find attractive. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m attracted to masculinity. Love a deep voice, strong muscular body and not an over the top personality so we can enjoy a chill dinner at a restaurant without attracting too much attention. is it wrong to only be attracted to masculine men as a gay person? 1
Timeless Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 No, it's not. You're allowed to have dating preferences lol
vale9001 Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 it's like saying are straight women wrong to be attracted only to masculinity?. If you like just something you like just something. What's important you are not denigratory against anyone
MotoPapi Posted May 25, 2023 Author Posted May 25, 2023 3 minutes ago, vale9001 said: it's like saying are straight women wrong to be attracted only to masculinity?. If you like just something you like just something. What's important you are not denigratory against anyone I feel like the gay community on Twitter are always shaming guys who prefer masculine men.
byzantium Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 No. What is important is to not have a prejudice against feminine gays (and vice versa).
byzantium Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 2 minutes ago, MotoPapi said: I feel like the gay community on Twitter are always shaming guys who prefer masculine men. Well Twitter often as a whole is many brain cells short of a reasonable analysis.
Johnny Cash Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 No. Those femme guys are probably only attracted to tall hung men, so they're just as much if not more superficial
Solaria Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 No stop caring about what other people think. Most of the people that shame others the hardest for having a type are the ones who only date masculine or fit guys themselves. The gay community is filled with hypocrites
swissman Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 It's not "wrong" but I think what you said about liking masculine guys so you can enjoy a chill dinner without getting too much attention points to the issue. So often, liking "masculine" men over "feminine" men is rooted in a desire for what has been socially accepted as "normal". The closer to what has been arbitrarily established as "correct", the more we identify that thing as "good" or "valuable", and the inverse is true. It becomes less about the specifics of masculinity / femininity and more about how it makes you feel relative to the social conditioning we have all received that puts masculine men well above feminine men in terms of acceptance, praise and desire. In turn, feminine men get ridiculed and excluded. While it may be that anyone may have a natural preference for the masculine man, it also is hard to believe that everyone would have come to this exact, same preference that magically aligns to the exact type of masculinity that has been engrained in us since we were kids through books, tv shows, films, and the many ways we communicate and proliferate this prejudice on a daily basis amongst one another. So while it's not "wrong", but I think it's important that we all look at and acknowledge where biases are and where they are coming from and working as much as we can do undo them, rather than uphold them. It cannot be pure coincidence that society as a whole feels a certain way, because if that were the case we would not have changing or competing ideals of proper masculinity, nor different forms of it depending on the culture. I have little doubt that if feminine men were given the treatment masculine men were, and the inverse shame and taunting applied to masculine men, society and individuals would feel and act towards them much differently. 12 3 1
Rino Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 it's not wrong, but you don't have to create threads like this either. it's giving I know that I'm asking a silly question but I want to feel validated by receiving attention
Bussea Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 No. but it’s wrong to berate them for being feminine. 2
T.O.A.D.S. Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 43 minutes ago, MotoPapi said: not an over the top personality so we can enjoy a chill dinner at a restaurant without attracting too much attention. Masculine gays have over the top personalities too, sis. Especially the ones who make their alleged "masculinity" their main personality trait... 1
liquiddiamonds Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 (edited) Making a thread already shows you know it goes deeper than just a preference. At the same time, I’ve personally grown tired of using theory and arguing over the most micro thing ever which is somebody’s sexual life. Twitter loves this, which is why you have an issue with it, but most people don’t care about the percentage of minorities you have dated, if they were masc or not, etc It’s called private life for a reason. Unless you are projecting a way more liberal personal preference or some friend of yours is feeling bad because they don’t fit what are you attracted to and he is running their mouth around about you, I dont see why anyone would have an issue. It shouldn’t be public knowledge anyways lol There are much larger issues that we should be focusing now that will impact these perceptions anyways. It’s not because we’re lgbtqia+ that means we are immune to the same processes that shape conservatives, racists, heteronormative people, etc So its completely misguided to waste time arguing over microissues like sex lives. If you feel you should change there are books to read, if you don’t just shush and get your D Edited May 25, 2023 by liquiddiamonds
Bloodflowers. Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 No, you have to find a match for your relationship and clearly having a dinner with a feminine gay gives you high anxiety, which is understandable for both of your safeties if you live in a dangerous, homophobic city/country where you can get assulted. Just don't be an ass about feminine gays.
Donquizote Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 No, it's not wrong. It's my choice to be attracted to whomever I want to.
WitnessOblivia Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 No. You have other preferences and that's fine.
swissman Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 (edited) The strange thing about the "I only like masculine men" so-called preference is that we forget masculinity is not a constant, it is a scale. Between two feminine guys, we can probably say who is more masculine of the two. A gay who is neither masculine nor feminine will likely seem masculine to a more feminine gay. A masculine gay may likely still seem at least a bit femme to a traditionally masculine straight man. Amongst straight "masculine" men with nothing feminine about them at all, there are even further lines drawn at who might be more or less masculine. All in all, holding such a preference reveals the factor of perspective. You may have seen screenshots of people saying "sorry I only like masculine guys" to masc-for-masc dating profiles, and you often see how angry and insulted they get, as if being perceived as feminine is a true insult, and something they themselves are not subject to. But the reality is, no one likes being rejected because of a "preference", yet so many people uphold preferences as an arbitrary, unalterable thing while being insulted when they are beholden to the same or similar standards. Edited May 25, 2023 by swissman 2
Pacify Him Posted May 25, 2023 Posted May 25, 2023 No. I'm sure those femme gays also prefer tall hung masc men either and ignore other fems
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