discussion Folks of Color What Are Your Thoughts?

[Namie-Knowles]

Since all the talk about whether or not it's okay to have a racist boyfriend and not get criticized. Let's ask the people actually affected by it and see some thoughts from Gays of Color. 

 

Straights can answer this too matter of fact. 

 

POC folks morally do you think you could date a man whose into racial degradation porn. Do you think you could remain besties if you found out that your friend enjoys and watches that sort of thing. Do you think you could remain besties if their partner watches it but they don't care. 

 

Do you think that those who engage in that sort of thing should be exempt from criticism or any consequences because it's "their life". Are people who do this owed access to POCs emotional energy and physical bodies? 

 

Just wanted to see some thoughts and in comparison to others. 

[BionicWooHoo]

Major cringe. 
Same applies for straight girls who will be like yaaas queen slay I love my gays but then have a homophobic boyfriend

[Ryan]

Who you choose to date directly correlates to things you’re willing to accept. Dating someone who has troubling habits like that, even if you personally disagree, becomes something you’re willing to tolerate. Which means you’re by extension okay with it. Which is a reflection of who you are. 
 

I’m incredibly disappointed in Taylor. 

[HeavyMetalAura]

I am white, so I’m not going to answer whether or not it’s okay, but I do think it’s important to remember that being into racial degradation porn does not necessarily mean being racist.

 

I’m pretty kinky myself (not into racial degradation) but because I advertise myself as kinky on Grindr, I’ve had multiple messages from black men who want to be called the n-word by me and treated poorly by a “white king” or whatever.

 

Similarly, many gay men want to be called f***** and degraded as well, and they worship straight men. 

 

Many people are also into CNC (consensual non-consent, or r*pe play) but aren’t actual r*pists.

 

Diaper/baby kinks are very popular, but those people aren’t necessarily pedophiles.

 

Puppy play (dressing up as and pretending to be a puppy) is also a somewhat common kink, and that doesn’t make someone into bestiality.

 

People explore cultural issues and taboos through sex sometimes, and it can be a (sometimes) healthy and creative way to explore your identity without taking it into extremes. I would caution labeling anyone - of color or not - into racial degradation p*rn as racist. They may be exploring something internalized that they haven’t yet uncovered; they may be engaging with the taboo of racism in a cancel-culture dominated world without fear of consequence; for people of color who are into being degraded, they may be making sense of some sort of racial trauma they experienced as a POC. Who knows?

 

As long as no one is being exploited in a way that they don’t want to be, why not let people live without judgment? 

[DamianSolo]

I have too much self-respect to date someone like that, or otherwise even be friends with such a person. It's grossly unattractive and unacceptable. I try to not be bothered with the partners of friends, to that degree, but I'd have to have a serious discussion with my existing friend about it, and whether or not they take part in it. I'd have to keep them at arm's length, depending on their response to it and the details of our friendship. I'd be diplomatic in my approach, of course, especially if it was someone who was otherwise a really great friend who I never had any issues with; I definitely wouldn't want to be around their partner.

 

I feel like people who are into such a thing should not be exempt from criticism, nor should they be allowed access to a person of color's energy or body. More power to POCs who are turned on by being degraded in such a way; it is a fetish for some. No judgement, but I couldn't do it or be part of it in any way.

 

 

[PoisonedIvy]

I wouldn’t personally date anyone into any sort of fetishization or degradation kinks. I don’t blame people for the actions of their partners in their past though. Especially if those actions don’t cause any adverse harm on anyone. I also don’t really care enough to care about people I don’t personally know, but in my real life if one of my friends had a partner that was into edgy humor and weird kinks…. That doesn’t really affect me so I probably wouldn’t be upset by them. Their humor is lame and their kinks are weird but at the end of the day they aren’t doing anything that enables or empowers systemic racism so why would I expend my energy or time on them. And yes I’m a poc 

[Namie-Knowles]

Girlie that's sounding....white to me. Racial degradation kinks and jokes actually do cause harm and are byproduct of of the harm people of color face in society due to White Supremacy. So if you're POC I hope you get that. If you are POC as in you are Italian or White Cuban then...

[ImsoLOUD]

It couldn’t be me that’s all I know 

 

[Namie-Knowles]

41 minutes ago, ImsoLOUD said:

It couldn’t be me that’s all I know 

 

Period. 

 

1 hour ago, DamianSolo said:

I have too much self-respect to date someone like that, or otherwise even be friends with such a person. It's grossly unattractive and unacceptable. I try to not be bothered with the partners of friends, to that degree, but I'd have to have a serious discussion with my existing friend about it, and whether or not they take part in it. I'd have to keep them at arm's length, depending on their response to it and the details of our friendship. I'd be diplomatic in my approach, of course, especially if it was someone who was otherwise a really great friend who I never had any issues with; I definitely wouldn't want to be around their partner.

 

I feel like people who are into such a thing should not be exempt from criticism, nor should they be allowed access to a person of color's energy or body. More power to POCs who are turned on by being degraded in such a way; it is a fetish for some. No judgement, but I couldn't do it or be part of it in any way.

 

 

Personally if my friend has a boyfriend into that, even more so if it's directed toward my people, I'd unfriend them if they continued to stay with them.

 

1 hour ago, Ryan said:

Who you choose to date directly correlates to things you’re willing to accept. Dating someone who has troubling habits like that, even if you personally disagree, becomes something you’re willing to tolerate. Which means you’re by extension okay with it. Which is a reflection of who you are. 
 

I’m incredibly disappointed in Taylor. 

Exactly and people try to pretend that isn't the case. Wonder why?

[sparrowblue]

4 hours ago, Ryan said:

Who you choose to date directly correlates to things you’re willing to accept. Dating someone who has troubling habits like that, even if you personally disagree, becomes something you’re willing to tolerate. Which means you’re by extension okay with it. Which is a reflection of who you are. 
 

I’m incredibly disappointed in Taylor. 

i've been trying to sum it up but you put it perfectly. it's a shame.

[sparrowblue]

and stans acting like its judging someone's "past" when some of it happened in 2023. whew.

[cockatoo]

I honestly prefer to not know people's porn habits, just keep that to yourself. But if I did find out they were into raceplay then I would most likely stop talking to them 

[TheFlyingRobot]

1 hour ago, cockatoo said:

I honestly prefer to not know people's porn habits, just keep that to yourself. But if I did find out they were into raceplay then I would most likely stop talking to them 

Agreed, if your in a relationship, it might be something that comes up but in general best kept to yourself unless you have a friendship with someone where you talk like that. Race Place is a big, NO... But Firefighter and Doctor dress up sounds fun haha

[Wicked]

8 hours ago, Ryan said:

Who you choose to date directly correlates to things you’re willing to accept. Dating someone who has troubling habits like that, even if you personally disagree, becomes something you’re willing to tolerate. Which means you’re by extension okay with it. Which is a reflection of who you are. 

/the end.

[terrorblade]

i'd probs investigate first like what drove u into having such a fetish etc

[LoveInStereo]

22 hours ago, HeavyMetalAura said:

I am white, so I’m not going to answer whether or not it’s okay, but I do think it’s important to remember that being into racial degradation porn does not necessarily mean being racist.

 

I’m pretty kinky myself (not into racial degradation) but because I advertise myself as kinky on Grindr, I’ve had multiple messages from black men who want to be called the n-word by me and treated poorly by a “white king” or whatever.

 

Similarly, many gay men want to be called f***** and degraded as well, and they worship straight men. 

 

Many people are also into CNC (consensual non-consent, or r*pe play) but aren’t actual r*pists.

 

Diaper/baby kinks are very popular, but those people aren’t necessarily pedophiles.

 

Puppy play (dressing up as and pretending to be a puppy) is also a somewhat common kink, and that doesn’t make someone into bestiality.

 

People explore cultural issues and taboos through sex sometimes, and it can be a (sometimes) healthy and creative way to explore your identity without taking it into extremes. I would caution labeling anyone - of color or not - into racial degradation p*rn as racist. They may be exploring something internalized that they haven’t yet uncovered; they may be engaging with the taboo of racism in a cancel-culture dominated world without fear of consequence; for people of color who are into being degraded, they may be making sense of some sort of racial trauma they experienced as a POC. Who knows?

 

As long as no one is being exploited in a way that they don’t want to be, why not let people live without judgment? 

This is my perspective as well & it’s a relief to see somebody else looking at the big picture. The discourse around Matty being a “literal white supremacist” is too much. Are true crime listeners future serial killers? Reminds me of the post-Columbine “video games are killing kids!” bs. Guns kill people. Just as depictions of violence are inevitable in a violent world, depictions of racism are gonna exist in a racist world, that’s just a reality of our current time

[worldwide angel]

19 hours ago, sparrowblue said:

and stans acting like its judging someone's "past" when some of it happened in 2023. whew.

or they ironically accuse the actual groups affected of being “performative” or “(fake) woke”

 

OT:  no, not really. i would hope that the person i choose to dedicate my time, energy, and intimacy would see me more than just a kink or someone to fulfill a stereotype….especially if they have past, present, and future “tendencies” of being racist 

 

[Namie-Knowles]

7 minutes ago, worldwide angel said:

or they ironically accuse the actual groups affected of being “performative” or “(fake) woke”

 

OT:  no, not really. i would hope that the person i choose to dedicate my time, energy, and intimacy would see me more than just a kink or someone to fulfill a stereotype….especially if they have past, present, and future “tendencies” of being racist 

 

Spilled here. 

[Gorjesspazze9]

I don’t care who Taylor dates. 

[Namie-Knowles]

1 minute ago, Gorjesspazze9 said:

I don’t care who Taylor dates. 

@ATRL AdministrationPerson replying to the wrong topic in my thread. Can this comment be moved to proper channels. 

[abeille]

It's repulsive to say the least. No way would I condone that under any circumstance.

[The7thStranger]

On 5/19/2023 at 1:45 PM, Ryan said:

Who you choose to date directly correlates to things you’re willing to accept. Dating someone who has troubling habits like that, even if you personally disagree, becomes something you’re willing to tolerate. Which means you’re by extension okay with it. Which is a reflection of who you are. 
 

I’m incredibly disappointed in Taylor. 

1,000,000% this.

 

Also, from my point of view, there is a major difference between race play in general (which can and does go both ways) and the degrading garbage that Matty Healy admitted to watching. Also, he has a history of being unapologetically racist outside of his sexual life.

 

(POC)

Edited May 21, 2023 by The7thStranger

[Theshigo Washidu]

On 5/20/2023 at 12:13 AM, cockatoo said:

I honestly prefer to not know people's porn habits, just keep that to yourself. But if I did find out they were into raceplay then I would most likely stop talking to them 

 

[Aethereal]

I don't like fetishes of any kind. And especially if someone wants to be degraded in sex I lose my interest on him even if it's not racial.

Huge turn off. 

[Stellar1103]

On 5/19/2023 at 2:31 PM, ImsoLOUD said:

It couldn’t be me that’s all I know 

 

PERIOD