discussion Gay friends with low self esteem in terms of dating/relationships

[Sweet Sexy Savage]

Do you feel bad for the other gays whenever they say things like they would let their partner cheat on them or xyz reasons and still stay? is this a projection of themselves? If so, is there a way that some of them can be healed/fixed? What do you guys think?

Edited March 24, 2023 by Sweet Sexy Savage

[Rotunda]

No I don’t really give three fifths of a **** what boundaries others set in their relationships. 

[Donquizote]

Same goes to straight relationship. Most girls stay in toxic and abusive relationship although their boyfriends cheat on them/hit them.

It's none of my business to be concerned.

Their lives, their choices.

 

[PoisonedIvy]

I don’t particularly care what other people do with their relationships 

[MadonnasBoyfriend]

It won't last

 

 

 

[LittleStarmen]

cheated or they are open and discussed that?

 

it can be a turn on to have been ****** by another guy befor

[JohnWayneHolland]

Let's be honest, gay relationships don't last unless they're open relationships, sooner or later one of the two cheat because that's what men do

 

 

[JayG]

3 minutes ago, JohnWayneHolland said:

Let's be honest, gay relationships don't last unless they're open relationships, sooner or later one of the two cheat because that's what men do

 

 

This isn’t true. At all. There are people who do commit and I know people who are like this. The majority do not speak for EVERYONE.

[madonnas]

 Don’t care anymore.  Sure I feel bad if friends are unhappy but if you’re unhappy long term, then leave. 

[CBC]

I usually convince them to let their bfs cheat on them with me. I get to be a hoe and nobody risks getting stds from strangers

[Raver]

1 hour ago, JohnWayneHolland said:

Let's be honest, gay relationships don't last unless they're open relationships, sooner or later one of the two cheat because that's what men do

 

 

This is very true 

[Twilish]

1 hour ago, JohnWayneHolland said:

Let's be honest, gay relationships don't last unless they're open relationships, sooner or later one of the two cheat because that's what men do

 

 

I’ve started believing this more and more every day. 
 

[BletaRexher]

I’ve never even been in a relationship so I could care less what y’all be doing because I doubt any of you are in one either 

[VVVVVV]

33 minutes ago, Wizard said:

sad but true

 

It is true? I have never been in a relationship. Tell me more, I need to know.

Edited March 24, 2023 by VVVVVV

[Shaner69]

I think most gay people go though this. They have the highest suicide rate correct me if I'm wrong. 

 

Gay relationships don't last more then 2 years. Mostly because of family issues. I have been through it so many times. 

[Iaintsorry]

I’ve never had someone tell me they’d let someone cheat on them and still stay, gay or straight 

[suneclipse121]

1 hour ago, VVVVVV said:

It is true? I have never been in a relationship. Tell me more, I need to know.

It really depends. Open relationships are definitely trendy in gay spaces and cheating is universal so not entirely unique to the gay experience. I would say as a gay man it is significantly harder to find/have a true monogamous relationship. It’s not impossible of course many have and currently are doing it. But it’s going to be hard work and you will have to find someone who wants it as much as you do as well. 
 

I know some of this sounds bad  But anything is possible it’s just gonna take a lot of concerted effort and possible disappointments. You go after what’s best for you!

[zasderfght]

I have a friend who still pines over his ex-boyfriend who r-worded him, and then later cheated on him, but begged for my friend to take him back. I felt bad for him at first, but when he got super cross-faded and admitted to me he told his therapist he's still in love with his ex, and when he told me sober (or at least not blackout drunk/high) he still talks to his ex on social media and helped him get an apartment, you can only be sympathetic with someone who makes terrible choices. Granted, my friend has been dealt some rough cards (suicide in the family, getting robbed, experiencing physical/mental abuse in a relationship), but he doesn't do much to cope other than take a bunch of drugs. It's sad because I know there's a confidence person in there somewhere, but that ex-relationship really took a toll on his mental and physical health. 

 

To answer your question, I care to an extent if friends/family/people I care about are involved. And when they make it my business. But there's a reason I keep this friend at arm's length. It's like a therapy session and "boys suck" every time I hang out with him.  

[Oktober Knight]

This is why I hate being a Taurus and feeling the need to be loyal to my partner. The first bf beat the shite out of me and I stuck around. My 2nd bf screamed at me every day and shamed by body figure and intelligence and I stuck around. Both cheated on me and I knew it but just turned a blind eye. 

[RunUpDoneUp]

No.

 

Just because I have standards that fit me best doesn't mean their standards don't work for them. Some people like the feel of feet on their backs coming and going. Who am I to judge?

[lustforyou]

Tbh, I'm someone that says a variation of this. Not that I'd for sure stay, but that I wouldn't automatically break up; I'd have to consider the circumstances (who with, one time or several or many, are we otherwise happy, was he still fulfilling my emotional needs, etc). I haven't been cheated on before, so maybe I'd feel differently, but I just feel that cheating is, sadly, soooo common in both gay and straight relationships that I'd be a bit naive to say I'd for sure break up with someone if they cheated, when statistically there's a high chance my next relationship could end the same way.

 

But then again maybe that mindset shows that I do need therapy or something lol. Regardless, hopefully I never have to find out how I'd react to being cheated on