discussion My 'Boyfriend' Just Broke Up With Me

[brenda-walsh]

Sorry for the upcoming long block of text, but...

 

I'd been seeing this guy for almost a month now. After 3 weeks of talking and 2 weeks from our first date, he asked me to be his boyfriend. I too thought this was pretty fast, but considering we'd been seeing each other pretty much every day I said yes. For context, we live down the street from each other and were together like 5 days a week.

 

Over the weekend I went to the beach with him and two of his friends. I wasn't in the best mood and didn't really socialize much with them. This was my first time meeting them and I felt on the outside of all of their conversation, not to mention I wasn't in the best mood since I had nothing to eat that entire day until 5pm when we all got Chick Fil A. It was also super cold at the beach, but they're beach bums so that didn't seem to phase them. Not gonna lie, I was also a bit disappointed we spent the entire day with them since our original plans were to go eat and watch a movie alone.

 

I felt bad for being antisocial and apologized to him later that day at my house. He said he didn't think I was in that bad of a mood and asked if I was always like that when meeting new people. I told him no, I was just extremely hungry and cold, and as he saw the night before when I met two of his other friends for the first time, I was not like that at all.

 

The past two days I felt something was up and that he wasn't telling me how he really felt since he was taking a long time to respond to my texts and snapchats when he usually would instantly respond and message me back a lot.

 

Today, he was supposed to come over and I was going to cook dinner for the both of us. When he got to my door, he basically told me he didn't want to continue on this relationship since that meeting with his friends left a bad taste in his mouth and he felt it was a red flag to feel this way in the honeymoon phase. 

 

I felt like it was a stupid reason, especially since he's been the one pushing this whole relationship from asking me to be his boyfriend only after a few weeks, already posting me on his Instagram, and even asking me to go to the Beyoncé concert in September.

 

I don't really feel sad, just disappointed that the first flaw he saw in me after telling me I'm so perfect and whatever for weeks would make him want to break up with me. We had something really great going on and I was optimistic about where things were heading.

 

So, am I in the wrong and the one who f*cked things up? Did things go way too fast and this was always bound to happen? 

 

I don't know how to feel rn, I just need advice/ opinions. 

[X~MoviePoP]

Yall got together wayyy too fast

 

Why didnt u get a snack at the beach? And also, no one wants to be around a grumpy person.

 

Also, being clingy/needy isnt a good look.

 

But, ur ex rushed yall. 

 

Both of u should of been friends first and taken it slow

Edited March 21, 2023 by X~MoviePoP

[Alldeezy]

Sounds like a relationship I was in for 2 months back in 2017 I really adored him but it went so quick he put me on peddle stall then all of sudden broke up with me through text after doing that.

 

It sounds like he probably regretted or used you to make another person his into jealous im not sure. It seems pretty wrong for him to see you on one bad day and leave. People like that need to relized everyone has off days 

 

Im sorry to hear btw, but yeah sounds like it's his own issues and not your fault at all

[Guest]

Just now, X~MoviePoP said:

Yall got together wayyy too fast

Bingo. 
 

Y’all live close to each other AND saw each other 5 times a week?! Therein lies the issue. 
 

 I think him using his “perceived version of events” between you and his friends was a scapegoat and easy way out, instead of him just saying how he really felt. Because he made “breaking up” with you, about him and his friend group. 

[wehavetostan]

I think he should really have been more understanding of your quietness when meeting his friends. First impressions do matter and although you should try to be more friendly with his friends,  that shouldn’t have been such a dealbreaker. Especially considering he switched your original plans that day. 
 

I’m sorry that you it went sour so quickly. It seems like he moves quickly and then runs at slight inconveniences. I’ve been through similar stuff, and know it’s sad when you think there could have been a lot of potential, but you deserve to be with someone who is understanding 

[JustHoran]

Nah, he sounds like a walking red flag. Good riddance to him, and you deserve someone who doesn't throw you away the first second something isn't perfect  

 

Men like that are garbage and will never change.

Edited March 21, 2023 by JustHoran

[Guest]

11 minutes ago, X~MoviePoP said:

Why didnt u get a snack at the beach? And also, no one wants to be around a grumpy person.

 

Also, being clingy/needy isnt a good look.

 

But, ur ex rushed yall. 

 

I agreed with your initial comment, before you edited it…I think this part of your edit is a “damned if you, damned if you don’t” type of situation that I don’t necessarily agree with in this context. 
 

OP shouldn’t have had to get a snack at the beach, the boyfriend who changed up plans should have been the one to be considerate and ask, on the other hand OP should have mentioned the original plans and that he was happy about being shafted for some friends. It takes two people to create a problem. So, the “grumpy” thing is dismissive in this case. 
 

Lastly, they were BOTH being clingy and needy seeing each other 5 times a week and living right down the streets that’s waaaay too much imo. If anything, TO ME, it feels like boyfriend was gaslighting OP to think the situation is all his fault. 

Edited March 21, 2023 by Limitless

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, wehavetostan said:

I think he should really have been more understanding of your quietness when meeting his friends. First impressions do matter and although you should try to be more friendly with his friends,  that shouldn’t have been such a dealbreaker. Especially considering he switched your original plans that day. 
 

I’m sorry that you it went sour so quickly. It seems like he moves quickly and then runs at slight inconveniences. I’ve been through similar stuff, and know it’s sad when you think there could have been a lot of potential, but you deserve to be with someone who is understanding 

Bingo [2]!

[Guest]

1 minute ago, JustHoran said:

Nah, he sounds like a walking red flag. Good riddance to him, and you deserve someone who doesn't throw you away the first second something isn't perfect  

 

Men like that are garbage and will never change.

Bingo [3] I fear 

[Donquizote]

That's why dont get into relationship too fast

You should have dated him for at least 3 months before you can decide whether to be exclusive with each other or not.

I always avoided/ghosted guys who I hooked up with who wanted to take relationship too fast

[Likingstars]

That guy is a red flag honey.

 

moving too fast. No understanding. “Honeymoon phase” is such a trash excuse showing that he’s only in fkr the thrill not the relationship itself. Move on sis do yourself better and next time slow down, pace it out over the course of 2-3 months. You burn out too fast

[Azulito]

You dodged a bullet

[brenda-walsh]

37 minutes ago, X~MoviePoP said:

Yall got together wayyy too fast

 

Why didnt u get a snack at the beach? And also, no one wants to be around a grumpy person.

 

Also, being clingy/needy isnt a good look.

 

But, ur ex rushed yall. 

 

Both of u should of been friends first and taken it slow

there wasn't any food at the beach lol. and ya i know, i felt bad for being grumpy which is exactly why i apologized to him that night

 

and he was the one being clingy basically love-bombing me and always calling me handsome, flawless, beautiful, etc

[brenda-walsh]

38 minutes ago, Allday said:

Sounds like a relationship I was in for 2 months back in 2017 I really adored him but it went so quick he put me on peddle stall then all of sudden broke up with me through text after doing that.

 

It sounds like he probably regretted or used you to make another person his into jealous im not sure. It seems pretty wrong for him to see you on one bad day and leave. People like that need to relized everyone has off days 

 

Im sorry to hear btw, but yeah sounds like it's his own issues and not your fault at all

 

30 minutes ago, JustHoran said:

Nah, he sounds like a walking red flag. Good riddance to him, and you deserve someone who doesn't throw you away the first second something isn't perfect  

 

Men like that are garbage and will never change.

 

4 minutes ago, Likingstars said:

That guy is a red flag honey.

 

moving too fast. No understanding. “Honeymoon phase” is such a trash excuse showing that he’s only in fkr the thrill not the relationship itself. Move on sis do yourself better and next time slow down, pace it out over the course of 2-3 months. You burn out too fast

 

Just now, Marvin said:

You dodged a bullet

ugh my friends said the exact same thing

[brenda-walsh]

34 minutes ago, wehavetostan said:

I think he should really have been more understanding of your quietness when meeting his friends. First impressions do matter and although you should try to be more friendly with his friends,  that shouldn’t have been such a dealbreaker. Especially considering he switched your original plans that day. 
 

I’m sorry that you it went sour so quickly. It seems like he moves quickly and then runs at slight inconveniences. I’ve been through similar stuff, and know it’s sad when you think there could have been a lot of potential, but you deserve to be with someone who is understanding 

i think this post really sums it up. he knows i'm a really introverted person and that this was a bad day since i was the complete opposite with his other friends the day before 

 

he does move really fast and i guess this is part of that game 

[Dragonfly]

So you´re not allowed to have a bad day once in a while? You were even nice enough to talk to him about it. Sounds like he needs to be more understanding.

 

Good luck. Must be tough to get over when you basically live next to each other. I hope he doesn´t come crawling back to cause you more distress

[kipperskipper]

you did absolutely nothing wrong. my bestie always tells me 'you can do no wrong in the eyes of the right one'. looks like you really dodged bullet. 

[ninasayers]

The idea of breaking up with someone over a situation like that is insane. If you're in a relationship, stuff like that should be something you work on and talk about with your partner if it's that big of a deal to either one, for some reason. It never would occur to me that it's a deal breaker, literally everyone has crappy days. You did nothing wrong and it seems that he chose to end things as quickly as he decided to start them, so I suppose it figures.

Edited March 21, 2023 by ninasayers

[DoubleRainbow!]

This happened to me in 2020. Our first dates were great but the 5th date was really messy. He introduced to me three people I had nothing in common with and I tried my best to fit in, I wasn’t grumpy or anything just awkward at interacting. The group never got to feel comfortable with me around, tho.

The worst feeling 

[EdgeofTeeth]

He’s a love bomber who clearly lacks the emotional maturity for a real relationship. I know it sucks now, but better to be done with it early than to find yourself in a worse situation down the road because there’s no future with someone like that

[original_lifeline]

There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s actually a big luck that he left by himself. Don’t worry and continue looking for a better person (that you totally deserve)  

[God_Donna]

Stop dating. It’s for losers love is a scam. Only have sex. And move on. 

[Archetype]

He sounds very immature and doesn't understand what it means to be in a relationship.  No one is perfect.  Sounds like he is either using it as a lame excuse to break things off.  You can do better.

[bjorn]

How old are you guys? 

[AxelFox]

2 hours ago, God_Donna said:

Stop dating. It’s for losers love is a scam. Only have sex. And move on. 

The older I get the more I try to live by this nnn