A moment that changed me: I was vilified as a gay teenager – but Mariah Carey saved me

 

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/feb/22/a-moment-that-changed-me-i-was-vilified-as-a-gay-teenager-but-mariah-carey-saved-me?utm_term=Autofeed&CMP=twt_gu&utm_medium&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1677050992

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I was 12 when it happened. Dad was parking the car and we were getting ready for a torturous hour of food shopping. Suddenly, over the radio, I heard a voice that today is one of the most recognisable in the world, but at the time it was new to me: a whispery, breathy voice that floated and fluttered over a slinky, laid-back track. It was Mariah Carey and the song was Honey. I instantly fell in love. What a voice!

 

The next weekend I rushed to HMV and bought the cassette tapes of two Carey albums, Butterfly and Daydream. This was when album covers would unfold into tiny books of song lyrics and photographs. I spent hours poring over Carey’s lyrics and listening to her in my room or on the bus. Her songs felt like an escape, a place of refuge. They took me away from the horror that I was experiencing. Because I was struggling. Really struggling.

 

I was in my first year at a boys’ secondary school and things were awful. I grew up in the shadow of section 28, a series of laws across Britain that prohibited the “promotion of homosexuality” in schools. Those heinous laws ensured that kids believed being gay was something to be ashamed of, and the boys at school had decided that I was definitely gay. Perhaps it was because I was a bit quieter and gentler than the other students, or perhaps it was something about my voice. Someone even told me I must be gay because I had long eyelashes.

Everything about me was “gay” and therefore wrong. So I was ignored, pushed, shoved, spat at and vilified. Lots of the other boys would sit in class whispering my name in a drawn-out, effeminate manner: “Iaaannnnnnnnn.”

It was never-ending and there was nowhere to hide. I wasn’t aware of any LGBTQ+ role models I could look up to or anyone who could say: “I know it’s awful now, but you will get through this, just like I did.”

That is, until I discovered Carey in that car park.

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My world seemed to fall apart in 2001 when I was 16. I was outed – someone had seen me at a local youth club kissing another lad – and it felt like my life was over. At the same time, Carey released her much talked about and critically panned movie Glitter and its accompanying soundtrack. Things looked dark for both of us.

But Carey is a survivor. She taught me that I had no choice: I had to survive, too. I had to carry on. I watched in admiration as she picked herself up and began to make new music. First there was the beautiful Charmbracelet, and then the critically acclaimed The Emancipation of Mimi. She was back. The message was clear: don’t ever count me out.

And me? How did I survive? Well, I dealt with the trauma of being bullied by not thinking about it. Until I was 30, that is, and had a breakdown. In my case, life was bleak for a long time.

 

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Whenever I am struggling, I listen to this song and remember how far I’ve come. Carey has provided the soundtrack for my life. My husband has been dragged to all of her concerts and a gospel choir sang I’ll Be There at our wedding.

Her music and lyrics have offered solace and companionship. It’s given me great pleasure to now have her provide comfort to a young boy in my new novel, who faces some of the same challenges I did. I hope she continues to offer joy and strength to the next generation of young LGBTQ+ people who may also be struggling. You will make it through the rain.

 

 

This is the gay agenda. Wake up, everyone.

 

  shes my safe place

3 minutes ago, #Beautiful said:

  shes my safe place

are you Ian?

 

3 minutes ago, suburbannature said:

are you Ian?

 

I don't know who that is fdsfsjdifsd my name's actually Horea

 

1 minute ago, #Beautiful said:

I don't know who that is fdsfsjdifsd my name's actually Horea

 

Ian from the article

 

 

 

 

8 minutes ago, suburbannature said:

Ian from the article

 

 

we #loveeverybody but im gonna beat your ass fdjfsdijsd do i LOOK like him??

 

A real saint 

 

This is actually really nice. Happy he found solace in Mariah. 

9 minutes ago, #Beautiful said:

we #loveeverybody but im gonna beat your ass fdjfsdijsd do i LOOK like him??

 

scjdbf no, you don't

 

6 minutes ago, HASHTAGPOW said:

Love this. Mariah is so inspiring

2 minutes ago, suburbannature said:

scjdbf no, you don't

 

 

All hail GODRIAH

Aww, this is sweet. See pop divas actually mean something to all of us if we can look past the stan wars.

That applies to a lot of Mariah fans I'm absolutely sure. Her music is like your 'go-to' stuff whenever you feel upset.

 

*weavers fingers and acts dramatic*

Tbh this is what I really feel towards Mariah. She’s my go-to-music whenever the world throws its weight upon me and I cant get up. Her songs give light and hope to that human despair in times of darkness. 

While Mariah may not be the same way she was back in her prime (she still does well now— albeit a lot has changed), I will always defend her because of what her music meant to me. At the end of the day, the core of true stanning is the music. 

Mariah Carried The Gays To The Promise Land