Tropez Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 I ask this because I am seeing mixed messages. On social media, gays proudly talk about how they love "dad" or more husky guys. Yet, the guys in question tend to actually be muscular just with a higher body fat. Then there's the extreme proliferation of PEDs, and other substances with a dose of ED. However, outside of the club and party scene most gays don't even look like the men who receive the most engagement on social media. They tend to look like your average guy. Of course, what you see on social media isn't real at all. And only a select few gain popularity and a following. But with the amount of great bodies plastered online, it makes it look like most gay men have a body of an Adonis. This I think influences so many guys that this is the norm. Pushing the goal post of what's attractive further and further. So now you have more gay men taking on the cycle, to look like the guys on Twitter and TikTok and the circle keeps going.
Cheers Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 Idk I feel like there's gays for everyone. There's a huge community for muscle guys, twinks, and bears so But I have noticed the bears/big guys that are like "gays only like muscle!!! gays are so shallow!!" are the ones approaching / want to date muscle guys themselves
Kim Petrat Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 i really do feel like the overwhelming online representation of gay men either being absolutely shredded or VERY thin is very damaging… like obviously there are many different types of gay men out there who are attractive but when we almost exclusively see the norm/beauty standard being portrayed as something that very few guys actually have it can be a bit depressing
Pop Life Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 They're about as rigid and arbitrary as they've always been. Most gays are still more concerned with putting on a performance than living authentically, and those who don't conform are met with needless cruelty. In short, it's business as usual.
Bencharmer Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 (edited) In a time when everybody needs to facetune more and more their pics, using an insane amount of filters and even apps to add muscle definition. Funny everybody promote self love while recent studies highlight how people on social media feel more and more insecure. Push the botton. Don't push the bottom. Delete your account. Read a book. Edited January 18, 2023 by Bencharmer
Gov Hooka Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 Self love and self pleasure go a LONG way imo. As someone who isn’t conventionally attractive per se, I’m still super confident and living a great life. I do worry for the younger generation of queer ppl who are inundated with tik tok/Twitter/insta standards of beauty moreso than the previous generations.
HausOfPunk Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 I notice people being more nice to me lately so the beauty standards must be lowering.
Sweet Sexy Savage Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 45 minutes ago, Gov Hooka said: Self love and self pleasure go a LONG way imo. As someone who isn’t conventionally attractive per se, I’m still super confident and living a great life. I do worry for the younger generation of queer ppl who are inundated with tik tok/Twitter/insta standards of beauty moreso than the previous generations. This is me right here… I‘m in the process of self acceptance and assuring myself that I don’t necessarily need a partner, but I feel like I can’t get a partner due to my internalized thinking of having to meet the beauty standards so I can feel like I deserve to be with a guy.
Sweet Sexy Savage Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 47 minutes ago, HausOfPunk said: I notice people being more nice to me lately so the beauty standards must be lowering. Oh girl… you’re beautiful just the way you are **** these standards
Gov Hooka Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 9 minutes ago, Sweet Sexy Savage said: This is me right here… I‘m in the process of self acceptance and assuring myself that I don’t necessarily need a partner, but I feel like I can’t get a partner due to my internalized thinking of having to meet the beauty standards so I can feel like I deserve to be with a guy. Totally agree. In the same boat as you
Into The Void Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 They are worse each day probably why I been single for 6 years
HausOfPunk Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 1 hour ago, Sweet Sexy Savage said: Oh girl… you’re beautiful just the way you are **** these standards
SweetTalker Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 Um idk in my opinion it really depends on the gay scene/people you surround yourself with or gravitate towards to
loveisdead9582 Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 I think it’s one of those column a/column b situations. On one hand, there’s a lot more acceptance for different body types. On the other hand, that acceptance often comes as a fetishized or very specific type of interest. Yes - more body types and appearances are accepted but at the same time you’re still having to be the epitome of that stereotype.
Johnny Jacobs Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 Im not really in the gay scene so Idk and im not single for a really long time. Although overall the beauty standards are getting extreme in general yes
cOe Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 (edited) Definitely worse. Social media/apps skews people's brains in terms of looks. Even I acknowledge that irl I find many guys attractive but on apps someone has to REALLY stand out for me to bother Edited January 18, 2023 by cOe
EtherealCat Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 beauty standards in general are getting far more extreme, its weird watching like older tv or something and seeing what used to be presented as an attractive person
its_britney_bitch Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 Social media has made everything more extreme. It’s horrible, and I’ve noticed a lot of gay guys that just make themselves look straight up prepubescent. Nobody talks about how predatory the whole “twink” thing is, pedophilia is rampant in the gay community… I mean, it’s everywhere, but I feel gay men are the worst hypocrites
zasderfght Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 I think the problem has less to do with beauty standards and more to do with toxic masculinity and unresolved trauma in the gay community. ATRL is a microcosm of gay culture, for better or for less. Most gay men want to date a hyper-masculine man and find feminine traits in a man less than desirable. Then there's other external factors, such as being less than 6 feet being undesirable, having a higher-pitched/feminine voice, and then you get some external factors sprinkled in like being overweight or being a POC. Unresolved trauma is a huge one. It's not uncommon for gay men to shut down and not directly or properly communicate with their significant other and that's what can open the door to breakups, infidelity, and more trauma. We were more than likely ostracized by a young age, so we already lack self-confidence, we came to terms with our sexuality later in life, so we missed out on dating when our high school counterparts did. And some of us were even sheltered. For example, struggling with living independently like having your own flat/apartment, having a car/license, and having a steady income/budget. Or people that have those things but do not have the emotional maturity and independence to be in a healthy relationship that properly compliments their life.
Pikachoo Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 15 hours ago, Tropez said: I ask this because I am seeing mixed messages. On social media, gays proudly talk about how they love "dad" or more husky guys. Yet, the guys in question tend to actually be muscular just with a higher body fat. Then there's the extreme proliferation of PEDs, and other substances with a dose of ED. However, outside of the club and party scene most gays don't even look like the men who receive the most engagement on social media. They tend to look like your average guy. Of course, what you see on social media isn't real at all. And only a select few gain popularity and a following. But with the amount of great bodies plastered online, it makes it look like most gay men have a body of an Adonis. This I think influences so many guys that this is the norm. Pushing the goal post of what's attractive further and further. So now you have more gay men taking on the cycle, to look like the guys on Twitter and TikTok and the circle keeps going. I don't think this is only a gay issue. men in general are all facing this issue. Gym memberships have never been higher. Teens are starting to work out younger and younger. Everyone is desperately trying to look good.
Aethereal Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 15 hours ago, Bencharmer said: In a time when everybody needs to facetune more and more their pics, using an insane amount of filters and even apps to add muscle definition. Funny everybody promote self love while recent studies highlight how people on social media feel more and more insecurite. Push the bottom. Don't push the bottom. Delete your account. Read a book. Thanks.
The7thStranger Posted January 18, 2023 Posted January 18, 2023 It never changed. It's still muscle bodies/male models and that's pretty much it.
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