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Ghosted a guy with autism...


Bacardo Royale

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So I met this guy at a New Year's Eve party and we had a great time (threesome and drugs) but he's been trying to contact me every day since. He face times me randomly and wants to chat for an hour plus or hang out. I tried to tell him I need space  but it didn't work cause he still tries to call me. I've been ghosting him for over week now

 

He was a nice guy and the sex was good but that doesn't necessarily mean I wanna be best buddies and talk with him every day. Like I think it's a red flag that he's already this clingy when we've only seen each other one time

 

I feel guilty because he has autism and I'm wondering if that's affecting his ability to understand? I don't know anyone else with autism so wondering if any of you have it or know somebody with it....? 


Am I a jerk for ghosting him?

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Y’all don’t know how to keep **** to yourselves?

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3 minutes ago, JonginBey said:

Y’all don’t know how to keep **** to yourselves?

 

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All I'm going to say is that I'm on the spectrum (I'll let you all figure out where). It helps to be direct (and kind). Inference and subtlety, depending on where he is on the spectrum and how he processes information, could be to your disadvantage.

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So you’re telling us but not him? Sounds like you’re the problem… Hi, is you, the problem is you! 

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It's important to prioritize your own feelings and boundaries in any relationship, regardless of whether or not the other person has autism. If you feel uncomfortable with the level of contact and attention he is giving you, it is completely valid for you to set boundaries and communicate your needs to him. However, it is also important to be respectful and considerate in how you do this, as ghosting him may not be the most effective or kind way to handle the situation. It might be helpful for you to have a direct and honest conversation with him about how you are feeling and what you are comfortable with in terms of communication and time spent together. This can help him understand your perspective and may also give you a better understanding of how his autism may be impacting his behavior.

 

Some individuals with autism may have difficulty understanding social cues or interpreting the thoughts and feelings of others, which could potentially impact their ability to understand your boundaries and communication style. However, it is important to remember that each person with autism is unique and has their own strengths and challenges. It is not appropriate to make assumptions about someone's abilities or behavior based solely on their diagnosis. It would be better to have a direct and honest conversation with him.

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if he is not listening to you reasonably asking him for space then i dont see what else you can really do

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3 minutes ago, Henry Torres said:

It's important to prioritize your own feelings and boundaries in any relationship, regardless of whether or not the other person has autism. If you feel uncomfortable with the level of contact and attention he is giving you, it is completely valid for you to set boundaries and communicate your needs to him. However, it is also important to be respectful and considerate in how you do this, as ghosting him may not be the most effective or kind way to handle the situation. It might be helpful for you to have a direct and honest conversation with him about how you are feeling and what you are comfortable with in terms of communication and time spent together. This can help him understand your perspective and may also give you a better understanding of how his autism may be impacting his behavior.

 

Some individuals with autism may have difficulty understanding social cues or interpreting the thoughts and feelings of others, which could potentially impact their ability to understand your boundaries and communication style. However, it is important to remember that each person with autism is unique and has their own strengths and challenges. It is not appropriate to make assumptions about someone's abilities or behavior based solely on their diagnosis. It would be better to have a direct and honest conversation with him.

This, 100%

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I’m sort of in the same position, but with a guy who has bipolar. I haven’t ghosted, but it’s a hard situation to be in. I feel for you, OP.

Edited by Ice Cream Skies
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Just say "sorry, i don't wanna hang out. I am only into drugs and sex and you deserve someone who can offer you something more than I do. Wish you all the best *inserts Lana Del Rey - The Other Woman"

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This mindset of having random sex with strangers yet blaming them when they want to connect after that is so toxic. You are the problem here, not him. 

Edited by ReginaGeorge
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Why don’t you start asking yourself these questions instead. We live in a world where there are so many different ways to communicate thanks to social media and it takes literally less than a minute to text somebody. You could’ve given him the grace of that one minute and never have to see him again yet you’ve chosen to let him suffer and question what happened instead. At this point anybody behaving like this, like you, has the immaturity of an absolute child. You’re the problem here, grow up. 

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23 minutes ago, JonginBey said:

Y’all don’t know how to keep **** to yourselves?

:ahh:

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15 minutes ago, The7thStranger said:

All I'm going to say is that I'm on the spectrum (I'll let you all figure out where). It helps to be direct (and kind). Inference and subtlety, depending on where he is on the spectrum and how he processes information, could be to your disadvantage.

I believe I have been direct and kind but I don't think he gets it. I also told him I have anxiety and don't like phone calls prefer texting, but he's still calling me in the middle of the night

 

15 minutes ago, Kimmo said:

So you’re telling us but not him? Sounds like you’re the problem… Hi, is you, the problem is you! 

I've told him more than once :rip:

 

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You met this guy ONCE, and he's been hounding you every single day since despite telling him you need space?  You are not the first person he has ever hooked up with and will not be his last.  If he doesn't understand what "I need space" means, the only thing left for you to do is literally spell it out for him and tell him to stop contacting you, and block him if he doesn't let up.  I find it hard to believe he hasn't been in this situation with other guys before and there's only so much you can do, which, by the way, you have no responsibility or obligation to do.  

 

I'm all for approaching situations with kindness and sensitivity at first, but if it comes down to being harassed every night for hours, that's a problem and you need to start being more forceful so they get the picture.

Edited by Archetype
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I mean obviously ghosting isn't the best thing to do but damn y'all are acting like the OP dragged this man through the mud and spit in his face :deadbanana2:. I'm sorry but someone being that clingy after meeting once is just not right.

Edited by yellowflame
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