tournament Golden Hit: Holiday Special ☃️ Congrats to Remmy! ❄️

[Augmented]

Augmented’s Reviews

Firstly I just wanted to say thank you for everyone’s submissions, it was so nice to get a chance to read all these lovely songs during the holidays (especially after the business and stress of work) so thank you! I’ve never done reviews like this before so if I’m overly critical, not good at getting to the point or a tad confusing I apologise. Please feel free to let me know if you want anything removed or maybe if you just don’t agree with some of the things I have to say, I’m definitely down to hear your opinions.

 

@StormFury- Reconciliation

 Firstly I would just like to say thank you for being the first person to submit your song! What I really like about this song is that you really feel like you are going on the journey of the speaker learning to accept the past. This is further highlighted in the juxtaposition between the questioning in the first verse to the final verse being much more declarative and confident in your acceptance that you won’t see the person again. I will say I struggled to gleam any reference to the holidays throughout the piece and whilst your extra information does give some context to the song, I feel like this piece could have gone further with its correlation to the holidays. I know your extra info mentions the song being like a sort of New Years Resolution and I feel like if you get chance to further develop this song (as it was relatively on the short side for me personally ) I think you have some great opportunities to sprinkle in ideas regarding the New Years. I will say my favourite lines are also included in the final verse (you ended the song so well!) the “you only appear in these here lines” part was really touching. A lovely read thank you! 

 

@Hug- I’m Making Snow

This was such a fun way to approach the holiday aspect of the challenge and I love how fully realised the piece feels. It feels like you have really taken time in structuring the song and fully explored your ideas in the verses, chorus and bridge. The first person aspect of the song really works at exploring Santa’s feeling towards the situation he is dealing with throughout and I love how it sort of balances the thoughtful and absurd nature of the idea of Santa himself in both the  sweet prechorus and the braggadocios rap verse. (I was absolutely caught off guard with that “Kris Kringle on this jingle I’m about to let it snow, *****” line , in the best way of course!). I think the environmental message that you set out to explore in the song could have been pushed more as I think it really works in the first verse with setting up the idea that something is wrong but sort of trails off throughout the rest of the piece. Understandably given the light fun tone of the song you might not have wanted to bring the environmental message to the forefront and it could have made the tone of the song harder to gauge. Ultimately I really enjoyed this you did a great job! 

 

@Euterpe- Jolly

We love a concept and you executed this so well!! At first I was a little sceptical when you mentioned that this was going to have some influence from a character in an animated Christmas film but I think you sold the story so well that someone with no experience of what’s this is a reference to would still have a fun read regardless. Your main chorus is such a strong example of great songwriting, it’s catchy, concise, doesn’t overstay its welcome and emphasises the hatred the character has for Santa really well. I will say I had a little bit of trouble distinguishing between the verses and chorus particularly the first verse as it works structurally and rhythmically as an alternate/changing chorus. I think your final chorus deviates a bit too far from the styles of the other choruses from a writing perspective so I maybe would just class that as an outro instead? I love how vivid some of the imagery you created is especially the “undeserving of your poison words and glaring eyes” line, you can absolutely feel the intensity you are creating in the song. Such a fun and unique entry, thank you! 

 

@Aurora- Alone At Christmastime pt II/ Gingerbread Man

Oh wow…oh wow, you set me up thinking I was about to get my cute sentimental Holiday classic I crave and then pivoted into a raunchy sex bop, we love emotional whiplash! This is an absolute experience to read and I just want to commend you for all the effort you put into this, the inclusion of the genius lyric stuff really helped me further understand what was going on both narratively and in terms of wordplay and hidden meanings. Not only that but some of the annotations for certain lines were absolutely taking me out like I was pure cackling so really well done for that! The writing itself is really strong, it’s incredibly visual and in your face which is what you went to achieve with a song like this. I think you nailed all the influences that you mentioned in your commentary and several of those artists would kill to have some of these lines (the reindeer line and the double entendre line STOMPED). I think this is going to be a controversial take so I’ll understand if you or the judges don’t agree with me, but in terms of lyrical content I did feel like a lot of the food related puns started to become a bit redundant towards the end. Don’t get me wrong, the fact that you came up with so many ways to interpret those items into sexual ideas is really impressive but I think it just gets to a point where you sort of go “well he’s sort of said that already?”. Also I think the second rap verse started to get a little cluttered with a few too many ideas going on as I feel like we jump really quickly between the main partner, the friends and Santa very fast causing some ideas to be fully developed and some less explored. Those minor critiques aside ( I promise they weren’t as dramatic as I may have made it sound) this is an absolutely stellar sexual, over the top Holiday feast and if people don’t finish reading this entertained I’d be shocked! Really well done! 

 

@Julia Fox- Merry Christmas

This was such a beautiful and emotional take on a holiday song. You set the tone wonderfully with the first verse between the imagery of the house and the emotions of the reader (though I will admit the last line doesn’t really work for me, I think you could remove it and the first verse would still make sense structurally and narratively). Minor gripe aside I think what works so well about your song (and other songs you’ve posted in the past) is that I think you always manage to nail the “conversational” style of songwriting so well. It adds such a relatable factor to the piece that there are moments where you feel like yeah this is what it’d feel like if I was just laying all my thoughts out into the music. The verse starting with “ no gifts wrapped by my hands” perfectly captures that feeling! I feel like I have seen you mention once that you are influenced by Sabrina Carpenter? You definitely evoke some of her conversational writing in this which I love. I think whilst the verses and bridge carry the song well, I would have maybe liked to have seen the chorus take a slightly different direction. I honestly don’t mind repeating lines in choruses but I feel like this type of song doesn’t need a catchy chorus if that makes sense? All in all, i really enjoyed this more somber emotive take on a Holiday song and I think you did a great job! 

 

@Legend E- My Mother’s Heart

Firstly I just really really want to thank you for submitting this. I genuinely think this is such an important song in exploring how the holidays can be a hard time for people and I think it explores topics that we definitely need to be having more conversations about. I don’t want to delve to much into specifics but I will say after reading this it really helped me to reflect on my own relationships with family members and how we try and hide our feelings whilst being surrounded by images of Christmas everywhere. Your writing style is incredibly emotive and I was absolutely blown away with the first pre chorus. Your sense of imagery and perspective is very clever and I think seeing how we can look at certain festive things in one way, but to someone else it has an entirely different feeling is demonstrated throughout. The tense feeling of the speaker is displayed so well in the speakers internal thoughts slowly building up to the songs crescendo when the speaker starts verbalising there feelings. I think whilst the outro of the song does work, I think by condensing it a little bit (potentially removing the questions) and just ending on that final line before the brackets would have been a much more declarative/direct way to end the song after coming off that intense final and post chorus. Again, really thank you for this, it’s very special! 

 

@fountain- Koi in the Frozen Pond

This is definitely the most unique spin on the holiday theme from all aspects. Both stylistically and thematically this is such an intriguing approach to have taken and I think it pays off so well! This is genuinely the perfect example of creating a song with a social commentary layered within it that finds the perfect balance between thought provoking and sincere without ever feeling heavy handed so well done for being able to manage that so well. The imagery you create throughout with the changing similes does a great job at creating an emotional connection whilst being vague enough to be interpreted in multiple meanings. As the song progresses the more abstract imagery starts to reveal itself in terms of actually what’s going on narratively. The “because winter is a troubled time” verse excellently acts as the pivot between the feelings the speaker has been laying out - which we can all relate to in some ways - to the complete change of perspective we feel by the end of the verse when we realise what the speaker is going through in comparison. Whilst some of the verses work really well- the ice one in particular being a standout for me - there were other verses that I felt like didn’t have as much emotional weight to them or just didn’t match the heights of the others. The car verse and the rhymes at the end of the first bird verse stood out to me in that aspect but I wouldn’t say it made the song any less impactful. This was a fantastic song that kept me thoroughly engaged so well done you did a brilliant job! 

 

@Jackson- Peppermint World

Sometimes the most straightforward and classic approach to a Holiday song is all you need to make something great and you absolutely delivered with that. You fulfilled my holiday wish of a sweet (both literally and figuratively) festive song and this honestly lines up with something that I would have wanted to create if I participated in this challenge so you definitely won me over with this! Everything just works so well together: the contrast between the mundane relatable imagery reflected in the verses juxtaposing the whimsical idealistic imagery created in the chorus compliment each other so well. The semantic field of the song being centred around sweet things helps emphasise the saccharine nature of some some of the lyrics and firmly shows the difference between reality and the dream like state that the holidays brings to the speaker. It’s a minute detail but I have to make a point of “A lemon sunset drowns the world in candy coated hues” because wow this is such a standout line to me personally to the point that I wish this is something I’d come up with. I think my main critique I would have for the song is that I wish that it could have been longer to further explore some ideas. I don’t think there was any issue with skipping a couple of the months but I am definitely intrigued what you could have said about July, August and October.I also feel like maybe the bridge could have explored the contrasting idea that was going on throughout, whilst I’m not entirely sure how you would go about it… Maybe making reference to the whimsy and dreamlike state never actually being achievable could be a potential way to go and help ground the song slightly? Other then that this was excellent, you should be incredibly proud of this and thank you so much for submitting. 

 

@Remmy- Ghost of Christmas Past

Yeah you broke me, well done, congratulations I hope you are happy. No but seriously I genuinely had to catch my breath when reading this like this was an emotional gut punch I wasn’t expecting, I genuinely can’t tell you enough how good this is! You hit every narrative plot point effortlessly and created a really stunning story from start to end. Getting to discover the scrapbook with the speaker at the same time and seeing how they react to it was just such great songwriting from a story and structural perspective. There are so many standout lines scattered throughout that I honestly don’t know where to start. The “partridges and turtle doves” verse was a particular standout to me and I think the chorus was well formed and executed perfectly (the I See, I Feel and I Lost lines in particular really helped to create a particular feel to the chorus that helped to contrast with the reflective verses). Again I have to come back to the story and if I didn’t mention how the bridge perfectly tied the song together then it would be a disservice to you. The way the bridge builds and builds in tension until the reader finds the scrapbook and all the tension is broke by the emotion they feel was so good. You could have tried to be melodramatic with the outro but instead went with a controlled moment of reflection whilst also making an important statement on memories which ties back the whole concept of the story. This was absolutely wonderful and I really really hope you know you made something special with this!

[fountain]

4 minutes ago, Augmented said:

@fountain- Koi in the Frozen Pond

This is definitely the most unique spin on the holiday theme from all aspects. Both stylistically and thematically this is such an intriguing approach to have taken and I think it pays off so well! This is genuinely the perfect example of creating a song with a social commentary layered within it that finds the perfect balance between thought provoking and sincere without ever feeling heavy handed so well done for being able to manage that so well. The imagery you create throughout with the changing similes does a great job at creating an emotional connection whilst being vague enough to be interpreted in multiple meanings. As the song progresses the more abstract imagery starts to reveal itself in terms of actually what’s going on narratively. The “because winter is a troubled time” verse excellently acts as the pivot between the feelings the speaker has been laying out - which we can all relate to in some ways - to the complete change of perspective we feel by the end of the verse when we realise what the speaker is going through in comparison. Whilst some of the verses work really well- the ice one in particular being a standout for me - there were other verses that I felt like didn’t have as much emotional weight to them or just didn’t match the heights of the others. The car verse and the rhymes at the end of the first bird verse stood out to me in that aspect but I wouldn’t say it made the song any less impactful. This was a fantastic song that kept me thoroughly engaged so well done you did a brilliant job! 

Ahhhh thank you  I’m glad you thought it was a success overall because I was worried about if the message would come across properly, so I’m happy you think it did here. Thank you very much!

 

With the car verse that was kinda inspired by how cold it’s been lately and seeing all the frozen cars and people struggling to remove the frost. I was hoping to relate that to the message of the song because some people see this as a social issue that they don’t want to deal with, and these people a nuisance, a bit like the car situation. That was the idea, anyway. But I agree it’s not the most hard hitting part 

[Augmented]

2 minutes ago, fountain said:

With the car verse that was kinda inspired by how cold it’s been lately and seeing all the frozen cars and people struggling to remove the frost. I was hoping to relate that to the message of the song because some people see this as a social issue that they don’t want to deal with, and these people a nuisance, a bit like the car situation. That was the idea, anyway.

Oh thank you for that extra bit of context, it definitely does help me to understand that particular verse a bit more.

Again I can’t stress another that this was so good, you absolutely nailed the message completely 

[fountain]

4 minutes ago, Augmented said:

Oh thank you for that extra bit of context, it definitely does help me to understand that particular verse a bit more.

Again I can’t stress another that this was so good, you absolutely nailed the message completely 

It actually took forever to get the idea for this song but once it started sticking I was definitely happy with it. I ran through multiple song titles prior to this one though but at least I got there in the end  (I always start with titles first and then build the song around).

I didn’t actually go into it wanting to write about this topic but I just started writing and that was what came out. For someone who isn’t that into the Holidays I ended up having much more fun with this than I expected, which I’m glad for.
Very happy to hear your thoughts and read your reviews, thank you again for this time and effort at a busy and stressful time of year! 

[Aurora]

On 12/21/2022 at 4:08 AM, Julia Fox said:

gonna leave my song here if anyone is interested 

 

  Hide contents

merry christmas 

 

I’ll drink two or three hot chocolates tonight 

while I look through the window of the house we built

thinking about how the mistletoe have the lights turn off 

make my emotions disappear while you are gone

I guess I’ll have to accept that you won’t be back to say ho-ho-ho

 

maybe I should celebrate

selfishly hide my pain 

call my sisters and some friends

but these silver nights like your hair

are not just the same without you here

 

but I’ll say 

 

merry Christmas my darling 

I’ll say merry Christmas my darling 

Merry Christmas my darling 

I love you to death 

I guess I really meant that by the way 

 

No gifts wrapped by my hands

and my sweater smells like cigarettes

windows aren’t even clean

I had a lot to do this past week

not really but it’s been hard to find a way to make this pain leave 

 

but maybe I should celebrate 

go outside and walk in the snow, oh hey

I made a snowman that looks like your 21 year old self

felt that you were here but you weren’t, that’s so sad

So I cried on Christmas Day 

 

but I’ll say it anyway 

 

merry Christmas my darling 

I’ll say merry Christmas my darling 

Merry Christmas my darling 

I love you to death 

I guess I really meant that by the way 

 

Santa asks where did you go 

I said you were going through some obscure thoughts 

we both saw each other sadness 

in our eyes tears were falling

cause we miss you on Christmas Day 

and every day

 

and we sing 

 

merry Christmas my darling 

I’ll say merry Christmas my darling 

Merry Christmas my darling 

I love you to death 

I guess I really meant that by the way

 

 

Oh wow we love a sad holiday bop, the original "Alone at Christmastime" is shook! I especially love the second verse, it's so vivid and impactful.

 

9 hours ago, Hug said:

Yay ATRL is back. Thought it'd never come back up  

 

I figure I may as well share I'm Making Snow, an environmentally-conscious Christmas tune 

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OdloYIgT7lRlv3UUQJ8cZr8FJ2yxKojbxtQUIqnuQ0c/edit?usp=sharing

Oh wow, this wasn't at all what I was expecting, honestly.  We definitely love a bit of holiday rap to spice things up.

 

3 hours ago, Augmented said:

@Aurora- Alone At Christmastime pt II/ Gingerbread Man

Oh wow…oh wow, you set me up thinking I was about to get my cute sentimental Holiday classic I crave and then pivoted into a raunchy sex bop, we love emotional whiplash! This is an absolute experience to read and I just want to commend you for all the effort you put into this, the inclusion of the genius lyric stuff really helped me further understand what was going on both narratively and in terms of wordplay and hidden meanings. Not only that but some of the annotations for certain lines were absolutely taking me out like I was pure cackling so really well done for that! The writing itself is really strong, it’s incredibly visual and in your face which is what you went to achieve with a song like this. I think you nailed all the influences that you mentioned in your commentary and several of those artists would kill to have some of these lines (the reindeer line and the double entendre line STOMPED). I think this is going to be a controversial take so I’ll understand if you or the judges don’t agree with me, but in terms of lyrical content I did feel like a lot of the food related puns started to become a bit redundant towards the end. Don’t get me wrong, the fact that you came up with so many ways to interpret those items into sexual ideas is really impressive but I think it just gets to a point where you sort of go “well he’s sort of said that already?”. Also I think the second rap verse started to get a little cluttered with a few too many ideas going on as I feel like we jump really quickly between the main partner, the friends and Santa very fast causing some ideas to be fully developed and some less explored. Those minor critiques aside ( I promise they weren’t as dramatic as I may have made it sound) this is an absolutely stellar sexual, over the top Holiday feast and if people don’t finish reading this entertained I’d be shocked! Really well done! 

Thank you for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed the plot twist and were entertained as that was my main intention with this piece.

 

For what it's worth, I don't think your criticisms are a controversial take whatsoever, and I definitely did have moments—particularly while finishing off the first verse—where I was like, "Are there too many food euphemisms more or less saying the same thing? Can you come up with something else?" In fact, that's partially the reason for the second verse (and extended chorus) being a lot lighter on the food metaphors and trying to introduce some new angles rather than just, "Oh, here's yet another food metaphor for me and “Nick” having sex."  I can see how this in turn might have overcomplicated the narrative a little though, absolutely.

 

I'm so intrigued that you highlighted the reindeer and double entendre lyrics, since at points I wasn't even sure if they were going to make the cut since they had elements that didn't strictly relate to the Christmas or erotic themes. Glad you liked them, though!

[Jackson]

thank you @Augmented - i appreciate the very thorough review and i’m glad you liked it! i totally agree with what you said about the bridge - ultimately i decided to keep the song light because i wanted the song to be mostly positive and whimsical, but the same thought crossed my mind that it would have given the storyline more depth to ground it 

[Legend E]

Thank you @Augmented 

[Legend E]

grinch = josephs911

[fountain]

Oh… it’s back? Maybe? For now?

[fountain]

2 hours ago, Legend E said:

grinch = josephs911

Pls

[TruGemini]

Yay the site is working 

 

Absolutely loved each of the entires submitted! Going over my reviews once more, they'll be up later tonight! 

[fountain]

50 minutes ago, TruGemini said:

Yay the site is working 

 

Absolutely loved each of the entires submitted! Going over my reviews once more, they'll be up later tonight! 

   

[fountain]

Well since the site is seemingly back for now, lemme post my little koi song

 

Koi in the Frozen Pond

 

I’m like the koi in a frozen pond

I’d like to get through this cold spell, too

Hibernate, and wait it out

Until something better is in view

 

I’m like the fir tree that they’re cutting down

I thought I had plenty more time ahead

But it seems I’m met, and so easily swept

Away, and forgot about

 

But the winter makes things moreso hard,

There’s fog and ice, you see

So even if I had the strength,

This is no place, for me, to be 

 

I’m like the snow that the kids all wish for

But I might not live up to any hope

Because life has its own plans, a thing unbound

And I might not come around

 

I’m like the bird that you hear in the morning

I never migrated or followed the rest

Now I fend alone, with no stable home

So my future is unknown

 

And the winter sure is a rough time,

Though I still try my best

Sometimes I falter, fail the climb

And fall out of the nest

 

I’m like the frost that forms outside your car,

That makes you late on an important day

Nothing more than a nuisance,

That’s what I hear the people say

 

I’m like the ice you avoid on the ground

That you preempt and you walk around

And I haven’t said a word,

But if I did, I’d just ask for help

 

Because winter is a troubled time

I’m sure you understand,

But it’s tougher living on the Earth

With an empty, begging hand

 

I’m at the place where you go Christmas shopping

And you try not to look at me

But I’m a person too, at least I thought it true

But I am seldom treated as it

 

I am the koi in the frozen pond

Cold; but I will thaw, I’m sure

Yet the hearts of people better off

Remain frigid beyond cure

 

Which is a bit ironic seeing as the multi millionaire prime minister of my country is going viral today for this exchange 

 

 

 

 

[Legend E]

6 hours ago, Legend E said:

grinch = josephs911

@Remmy he deleted your message 😭

[Legend E]

28 minutes ago, fountain said:

Well since the site is seemingly back for now, lemme post my little koi song

 

Koi in the Frozen Pond

 

 

  Hide contents

I’m like the koi in a frozen pond

I’d like to get through this cold spell, too

Hibernate, and wait it out

Until something better is in view

 

I’m like the fir tree that they’re cutting down

I thought I had plenty more time ahead

But it seems I’m met, and so easily swept

Away, and forgot about

 

But the winter makes things moreso hard,

There’s fog and ice, you see

So even if I had the strength,

This is no place, for me, to be 

 

I’m like the snow that the kids all wish for

But I might not live up to any hope

Because life has its own plans, a thing unbound

And I might not come around

 

I’m like the bird that you hear in the morning

I never migrated or followed the rest

Now I fend alone, with no stable home

So my future is unknown

 

And the winter sure is a rough time,

Though I still try my best

Sometimes I falter, fail the climb

And fall out of the nest

 

I’m like the frost that forms outside your car,

That makes you late on an important day

Nothing more than a nuisance,

That’s what I hear the people say

 

I’m like the ice you avoid on the ground

That you preempt and you walk around

And I haven’t said a word,

But if I did, I’d just ask for help

 

Because winter is a troubled time

I’m sure you understand,

But it’s tougher living on the Earth

With an empty, begging hand

 

I’m at the place where you go Christmas shopping

And you try not to look at me

But I’m a person too, at least I thought it true

But I am seldom treated as it

 

I am the koi in the frozen pond

Cold; but I will thaw, I’m sure

Yet the hearts of people better off

Remain frigid beyond cure

 

Which is a bit ironic seeing as the multi millionaire prime minister of my country is going viral today for this exchange 

 

 

 

 

TALENTED BRILLIANT INCREDIBLE

 

I also read it to the melody of Ironic by Alanis, not sure if you like that, but I'd stan

[fountain]

@Remmy they playing Foxes in KFC (Absolute), your impact ! 

[fountain]

1 hour ago, Legend E said:

TALENTED BRILLIANT INCREDIBLE

 

I also read it to the melody of Ironic by Alanis, not sure if you like that, but I'd stan

Ahh thank you legend

 

I definitely take that as a compliment  my song would never sound as good 

[Achilles.]

Gonna try to get some more reviews done in the next hour but IDK if I’ll be able to post before Christmas. We shall see!

[fountain]

12 minutes ago, Achilles. said:

Gonna try to get some more reviews done in the next hour but IDK if I’ll be able to post before Christmas. We shall see!

With the shitty circumstances of the site being down multiple times, and also broken the majority of the time, it’s prolonged things a bit but it was out of our control and sporadic so I’m sure everyone will understand

————————

 

We did aim to be done before Christmas originally but at this point it’s not gonna happen I don’t think, plus it’s not fair to put any pressure on the judges on Christmas Eve. In the mean time I hope everybody has a good time no matter how they spend the holiday, and we’ll be here with the results as early as we reasonably can! 
 

The joys of hosting on ATRL  thanks everybody for being patient

[Aurora]

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and ATRL going down in the middle of a songwriting tournament.

 

It's already X-Day here in Kangarooland, so happy holidays to all of y'all and looking forward to seeing you in the new year for Golden Hit: Season 3! 📀

[TruGemini]

Gemini Reviews!

 

Storm Fury - Reconciliation

I really enjoy this entry. The line "is all I have accomplished reconciliation for you?" stands out for me, because that is a very real thing for many post relationships. We go through this stage of wanting to distance ourselves from them, but also wanting to prove to them and others that we can thrive without them. We see you go through this stage during the first portion of the song, but concluding with the line "and I have wings upon my feet" leaves it off on an inspirational note. You're no longer stewing in the past and are now entering the true state of moving on.

Also, I'm not sure if it was intentional, but on first glance at this song, I 100% interpreted this as an ode to realizing Santa isn't real anymore. While upon full read I know that isn't the case, I still find that aspect funny and a nice additional tether to the holiday theme.

 

Hug - I'm Making Snow

Let me say one thing, when I first saw the cover, I thought, "Why is there a black bar over Santa's face?". Then I read the entry, went back up to the cover, and SCREAMED for a solid three minutes at the rap album reference. Absolutely hilarious.

As far as the entry, I love how fun it is. When it began, I somewhat interpreted it as an Eartha Kitt "I'd Rather Be Burned As a Witch" esque style of song...then we got to the chorus, and things shifted. It became this absolutely hilarious rap that oddly shot me back to the earlier days of YouTube where people would make holiday parody music videos. I really appreciate your take on this challenge (and the environmentalism angle), and I really respect how going all in on making this song as wild as possible.

 

Euterpe - Jolly

 

Another really fun entry! As someone who has a thing for musical theater, even though this song has a rap vibe to it, it also comes off very Broadway to me. Honestly, it has a very Lin Manuel Miranda vibe, like I could totally see something like this fitting if he did a Christmas themed production. I also just really appreciate the originality of this entry, because of that alone, it comes across as a standout here.

Also, the imagery of a reindeer drugging Santa with lidocaine is something that will stick with me forever, I appreciate descriptive writing such as this. Very solid entry.

 

Aurora - Alone At Christmas Pt. II

I wish you could have seen the way my face dropped when I transitioned from the intro into the actual song, I was GAGGED!

While Christmas rap is doable, as proven by other entries, Christmas SMUT rap, is a different ballgame...and I truly applaud you for having come off as well made as it is. Despite how graphic it is, there is a lot of very slick wordplay and schemes here which is always great to see in any rap track. I really love the outro specifically, it puts an amazing bow on this extremely fun track.


By the way, "take a swan dive in my yuletide" has to be one of the most hilarious lines I've heard in recent memory.

 

Julia Fox - Merry Christmas

 

You know, I appreciate how different this is from what I was expecting. I went in thinking this would be something explosive, fun, high energy, which is an aspect I'm familiar with in your entries (which I quite enjoy, may I add.) However, you really surprised me here with such a much different approach. This song is sombering and personal, and it seems to come from a very genuine place, which I really appreciate.

It's a very simple song, but I think the simplicity works, and you did a good job with this entry.

 

Legend E - My Mother's Heart

 

What an interesting and complex entry. I really respect the direction you took with this song, along with your execution of it.

This is a dynamic that many people face and I think you encapsulated how one would feel when put in that position. There is a genuine nature to this song that is just incredibly enjoyable and adds an additional layer to appreciate here. There's a lot of graceful introspection here, it's very easy to break the 4th wall and take a listener out of the song when writing from a first person perspective but you towed that line expertly here.

The only critique I might have is that I personally am not able to flow between lines as smoothly as I'd like, and because of that certain lines don't hit as hard as I know they could. However, I won't hold that against you fully as its obviously hard to portray a solid consistent rhythm through pure text, not to mention that your writing was very dynamic which can generally just come across as that way, which isn't inherently negative. Overall, an excellent submission in numerous ways.

 

Fountain - koi in the frozen pond

 

I thoroughly enjoy this entry! From a song perspective, it is extremely catchy to me, and it really strings along together perfectly. It's not necessarily catchy in a boppy way though, moreso in a thought provoking way. The entire song feels cohesive and thorough, with amazing lyricism to boot. I also just adore the entire "koi in the frozen pond" term thematically, it really fits with the message and is the perfect title and chorus for a song like this.

When it comes to the message, I'm conflicted, but a very complex confliction. I think when writing from a first person perspective, it is very important for it to sound natural (not sure if that's even the best term, but it's what's coming to me at the moment), and I do feel like at points, you can tell that the song isn't written from the perspective of someone actually in that situation. Pit stop for clarity, I've been homeless before. While I'm fortunate to have not been in that situation for long, and to be long removed from it, I think that is why I am interpreting the song the way I am. I think the line "with an empty, begging hand" stood out for me because it's an experience that is associated with people who've dealt with hardship, but I also feel as if someone dealing with hardship wouldn't write that line in that way. Now the complexity comes in even more because obviously human beings aren't a monolith, and just because I might not have handled things that way, it doesn't mean that others don't, so is it actually fair to critique it for that? Once again, it's complex! The main point that I'm getting to is that I think it almost would've been more ideal to write this from either a third person perspective, or possibly a different first person perspective that's looking at the situation, rather than being in it.

Now with all that being said, do not mistake me, I LOVE this entry. If there is one thing I like more than good songwriting, it's good songwriting that makes me think! This is an extremely well made song and while I have some things to think about in regards to it, it is undoubtedly a standout for me.

 

Jackson - Peppermint World

 

 

The first thing I'd like to say is that, I, completely unwarranted, read this with the flow pattern of Impossible from Whitney Houston. Why? I am not sure. But as soon as I read the first line it started, and despite me trying my hardest, I CANNOT get it out of my head. So thanks for unintentionally making a Christmas version of Impossible for me.

When it comes to the entry itself, it's very nice! Actually, not nice, a more fitting word would be pleasant. There is a certain laid back, relaxed, calming aura over the song that I really appreciate.

Actually, mid typing, I just realized that I might be associating the song itself with the taste of peppermints! Is that weird? I'm not sure, but I'm having a very 4D experience with this entry. This is the perfect Holiday track that really encapsulates the feelings of Christmas and shows me why people enjoy this time of year so much (PSA: I'm a Halloween girlie, so thanks for making me see the light), very well done!

 

 

Remmy - Ghosts of Christmas Past

 

 

Gorgeous.

 

Seriously, this is a truly beautiful entry. From top to bottom, the emotion felt visceral and deep. It's not hard to make a "sad" Christmas song, but it's very hard to make a Christmas song that truly captures the beauty of the holidays, even when they can't be truly celebrated as they were previously.

I also love how descriptive your writing is without going overboard with details. You always give just enough material to paint the picture, but leave enough room for the listener to fill in the canvas which I TRULY appreciate.

I honestly don't have much more to say, a very simplistic, beautiful song. Amazing work.

 

 

@StormFury @Hug @Euterpe @Aurora @Julia Fox @Legend E @fountain @Jackson @Remmy

[Legend E]

Thank you  

[Aurora]

12 minutes ago, TruGemini said:

I wish you could have seen the way my face dropped when I transitioned from the intro into the actual song, I was GAGGED!

 

While Christmas rap is doable, as proven by other entries, Christmas SMUT rap, is a different ballgame...and I truly applaud you for having come off as well made as it is. Despite how graphic it is, there is a lot of very slick wordplay and schemes here which is always great to see in any rap track. I really love the outro specifically, it puts an amazing bow on this extremely fun track.

 

By the way, "take a swan dive in my yuletide" has to be one of the most hilarious lines I've heard in recent memory.

Oh wow, the Christmas surprise reviews, come through legend!

 

More than anything, I'm glad the intro had the desired effect thus far. 💙 I've wanted to write a cupcakKe'd explicit sex bop for the longest time, but always worried my inexperience with writing these types of songs would result in it coming across as more of a parody, so I think the more lighthearted expectation from this Holiday event was a good opportunity to try something new like this, for me.

 

I'm surprised but glad you highlighted the outro and "swan dive" lyrics—similarly to Augmented's highlights, these are some lyrics I considered scrapping at a point, so it really just goes to show that standout lyrics can come from even the most unexpected of verses.

 

***

 

After these sets of reviews, I'm extremely anxious to read @Remmy's song! He's taking it, I fear.

[fountain]

29 minutes ago, TruGemini said:

I thoroughly enjoy this entry! From a song perspective, it is extremely catchy to me, and it really strings along together perfectly. It's not necessarily catchy in a boppy way though, moreso in a thought provoking way. The entire song feels cohesive and thorough, with amazing lyricism to boot. I also just adore the entire "koi in the frozen pond" term thematically, it really fits with the message and is the perfect title and chorus for a song like this.

When it comes to the message, I'm conflicted, but a very complex confliction. I think when writing from a first person perspective, it is very important for it to sound natural (not sure if that's even the best term, but it's what's coming to me at the moment), and I do feel like at points, you can tell that the song isn't written from the perspective of someone actually in that situation. Pit stop for clarity, I've been homeless before. While I'm fortunate to have not been in that situation for long, and to be long removed from it, I think that is why I am interpreting the song the way I am. I think the line "with an empty, begging hand" stood out for me because it's an experience that is associated with people who've dealt with hardship, but I also feel as if someone dealing with hardship wouldn't write that line in that way. Now the complexity comes in even more because obviously human beings aren't a monolith, and just because I might not have handled things that way, it doesn't mean that others don't, so is it actually fair to critique it for that? Once again, it's complex! The main point that I'm getting to is that I think it almost would've been more ideal to write this from either a third person perspective, or possibly a different first person perspective that's looking at the situation, rather than being in it.

Now with all that being said, do not mistake me, I LOVE this entry. If there is one thing I like more than good songwriting, it's good songwriting that makes me think! This is an extremely well made song and while I have some things to think about in regards to it, it is undoubtedly a standout for me.

Thank you very much!

 

I definitely agree with what you say, and I really appreciate you sharing that personal detail . Writers should write what they know, and fortunately I’m not somebody who has ever had that experience. My idea with the song though was that it hopefully could come off more about relating with people in this position, rather than saying I literally am a person in that position, but as you note with the lyrics being first person it may not have come across that way maybe (overall it probably would’ve been beneficial to try a different perspective in that way, but ultimately I did go with “I” because I wanted to directly connect it to the reader, rather than opting for he/she/they which might have been a bit othering). Since the song does not state from that start that it is about homelessness, it was supposed to be a bit more of a metaphorical approach, where it then adds in the layers that relate it to this theme more and more with each passing verse. The line you pointed out is definitely the most glaring example and in a way I was torn because I didn’t want the inspiration to be too loose, but I also didn’t want to have to state it in a simplistic way, which can be a hard balance to find with lyrics since they can be somewhat constrictive at times. As you say, it’s a very complex topic, and that line takes a more stereotypical image just to get the point across, which is definitely very valid criticism! I’m glad you added this perspective with your review, and I think it’s correct. 
 

Thank you for reviewing. I’m grateful for your time and effort in doing so, and you’ve done a great job 

[fountain]

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

It's already X-Day here in Kangarooland, so happy holidays to all of y'all and looking forward to seeing you in the new year for Golden Hit: Season 3! 📀

Have a great day! 
 

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and ATRL going down in the middle of a songwriting tournament.

It’s true. We hate it, but it’s true.