discussion Question for gays who are single in their mid to late 20s and early 30s

[John Slayne]

13 hours ago, Last Boy on Earth said:

And how many gays do you know with long lasting relationships?

I actually know a lot, but they are all open or poly 

 

Don't think I know a single monogamous gay couple 

[Topaz]

9 hours ago, John Slayne said:

I actually know a lot, but they are all open or poly 

 

Don't think I know a single monogamous gay couple 

I know a few long lasting monogamous but they are also older like early 30's/mid.
A majority of the open poly people in the bay area for me are like twinks and def bears, the bear/cub community loves open/poly

[Homebrand]

Well for starters, you'll love life a lot more if you don't put timeframes on everything 

[Mariah4life]

I was in a 3 year relationship, and looking back, i'd rather be single then. Of course, i get lonely at times but the freedom that comes with being single totally offsets being in a relationship. I'm also the type of person that would travel alone and would rather do anything alone so maybe i just prefer to be alone.

[zasderfght]

Like others have said on here, being a relationship is not the end-all-be-all. It's funny because I'm in my first serious relationship, and while I definitely like the guy, reality slapped me in the face when I thought, "having a boyfriend must be really nice." They still have an entire identity/life without you in it. That's not a negative, but it's not like in the movies, where you will do everything together and spend every waking second together. There will be times you annoy him. He annoys you. There will be times you want to see your boyfriend, but he'll get busy with work/friends/family. So will you. And, like others said, it could end, at any second. 

 

 

[Before Today]

I have to agree when you're older it's GENERALLY harder to get into relationships. People your age have been through **** with their exes, are already in a committed relationship, or are focusing on work (when you're older money is a big consideration for dating compared to when you're in school/college, no brainer). HOWEVER, I'd say happiness is not only measured by whether you're in a relationship or not. I know some of my friends who voluntarily decide to stay single for a few years to "find themselves" or for other reasons like bettering themselves, bettering built friendships etc. 

 

My advice is you just focus on bettering yourself, while simultaneously looking for dates. You don't need to rush it or desperately get into a relationship because you think you need it. Good luck

[Before Today]

23 hours ago, Mariah4life said:

I was in a 3 year relationship, and looking back, i'd rather be single then. Of course, i get lonely at times but the freedom that comes with being single totally offsets being in a relationship. I'm also the type of person that would travel alone and would rather do anything alone so maybe i just prefer to be alone.

This is me all my college years lol. Until I got lonely and finally got into a relationship (been almost 1.5 year). Traveling alone is really soothing sometimes. You can train yourself with the freedom, reflecting on life. It's a blessing.

[IWantASoda35]

Dating in the gay community sucks a$$! Too many high standards and cheating.
 

I’d say just enjoy what you like to do in life and eventually you’ll find someone along the way. 

[IWantASoda35]

On 9/15/2022 at 11:46 PM, Mariah4life said:

I was in a 3 year relationship, and looking back, i'd rather be single then. Of course, i get lonely at times but the freedom that comes with being single totally offsets being in a relationship. I'm also the type of person that would travel alone and would rather do anything alone so maybe i just prefer to be alone.

This 

 

[Hurem]

Not you being 25 and worrying about your future. Gay community is so messed up

[suneclipse121]

Interesting question. I would say your friends are very misguided and I would caution you to not take heed to their comments. Dating in general is difficult it takes a certain amount of trial and error. Im 28 and have talked to several guys over the years and most just want to have fun right now. Not settle down. I've heard so many reasons as to why they don't want commit. Mind you some of the guys were in their early to mid 30’s as well. I personally don't like hooking up and definitely prefer a committed relationship buy I'm also self-aware enough to know that my desires are going to require a lot of effort. So in the meantime, I take care of myself and maintain my appearance and continue to climb in my career. I've mastered being on my own and a partner would be nice but I've learned it's never wise to force anything especially relationships.

[BloodLuster]

this is exactly the reason why I've been hanging out with straights instead of gays lately... I can't anymore with f-w0rds acting like desperate 50 y/o spinsters pushing the "you must find a man and settle down asap otherwise you need terapy !!11!1!!!!" narrative. so f*cking exhausting.

Edited September 19, 2022 by BloodLuster

[UnusualBoy]

Live your life, you don't need to be dating somebody to be happy, I'm 33yo single and perfectly fine.

 

Love will come when it has to, no sooner or later.

[KatyPrismSpirit]

On 9/15/2022 at 3:42 AM, spree said:

mid-20's?? lol.  Imo, you should be ****** up on drugs and going to EDC and being young while you still are.  You don't want a relationship right now. 

this is really the most horrible advice ive ever read on here. strange even if its a joke.

[Topaz]

8 hours ago, KatyPrismSpirit said:

this is really the most horrible advice ive ever read on here. strange even if its a joke.