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Aurora

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Round 2: The Girl Group Challenge, Part 2 

flop edition #1 (Aria Thurney, Diana Diamond, Audrey Onyx)

 

@hurricane326 - Mortal Muse

This is fabulous. I think you’ve perfectly captured that intense essence that you were looking for in writing for Aria, however I would argue that this is equally - or perhaps even more so - fitting for Yin Yin since it is coming from such an emotionally scorned place, and that was one of the key features of Yin Yin’s background. When I imagined her story and experiences, I imagined - and hoped - a song like this could be written; that is to say that I absolutely love this, regardless of which name it was submitted under. Like every other song I have read from you, this is strong from top to bottom, and there is something completely effortless about how you create and paint different pictures with your wonderful lyricism, and that none have ever felt unneeded, or unnecessary, or lesser. It’s as though every part of your songs always plays part into the bigger picture of the overall piece, and the overall story; you always strike a perfect balance and this is something that has become evident to me after reading your writing from both seasons. It’s incredibly impressive, and there’s no doubt to the fact of how gifted and talented you are as a writer, and of course all this praise is accompanied by my main point which is that this song is no different. Another very great job. 

 

@Julia Fox - vintage

I think this is perfectly fitting for Audrey, it does have that very indie-pop, Tumblr-esque, personal diary essence that I can relate that to, but it also, as you aimed for, still feels very you, as opposed to a cosplay, I think you’ve still retained your individuality and style while also fitting the challenge. I think this is one of the strongest submissions you have had yet, this feels very refined and I think this has some of your best and most vivid lyricism yet; in some of your other songs some things have got a little muddled or confused at times, but this time everything is straight to the point and clear. Evidently, the Julia Fox songwriting growth is continual! The central premise of the song is really great too, comparing a relationship that was once full of love, which has now come to pass and turned sour, as feeling vintage is really clever. Overall I would definitely say this is up there as one of your best songs yet, you’re really bringing it this season and it’s clear what growth you have made as a writer through your participation which is absolutely something you should be proud of. Great job.

 

@XO_Life - Drink That Up

I do think that taking on a song like this was a risk. The positives are that it really is undeniably catchy, both from the voice memo you shared but also the lyrics themselves, they certainly sound like something that could’ve been a hit around 2012 or so. It’s also definitely fitting for Diana, since clearly she wanted to go down the pop route, and this certainly is that to the core. However, I do think there are some genuine criticisms to be made. You said this yourself but the song is very repetitive, you’re aware of this and sure it aids the catchiness and the “this song is stuck in my head and won’t get out” factor, but it means there is much less chance to impress us lyrically when entire sections of the song (eg. the bridge) is just a copy and paste of an earlier section (the chorus) which itself is already 4/7 lines of “I’m drinking that up”. Secondly, while the description for Diana was obviously aiming at a pop song which could be a smash (which this certainly is), it also stated she was looking for songs with colourful metaphors and imagery, of which this song is definitely lacking. I think the main point to make is that just because a song is pop, or is aiming to be a hit, doesn’t mean that it has to be basic; for as many hit songs as there are about drinking, there are even more that have an interesting premise and memorable, unique lyrics. Now, it’s hard to be too tough because this song obviously is a very valid interpretation of what Diana Diamond is looking for, and it was probably quite fun to write and envision too, but this is definitely some advice for the future that it is important to make sure that your songs are 1. unique to yourself as a writer, and 2. interesting to read, which unfortunately I would say this song was neither, and I’m sure that you can achieve these things, it is just that this song is not an example of it. Ultimately, it’s clear that your aim here was to write a fun, summer, carefree pop song, and in that I would agree you succeeded.

 

@Hug - Checkmate

I definitely would say this is fitting for Aria, a song that can be open to interpretation and takes a more unusual concept and execution, so you’ve succeeded in the challenge. Overall I enjoyed the song, but I do think I have a few criticisms. The description of what Aria was looking for also mentioned have hard hitting one liner lyrics, and I would say throughout the song there weren’t any specific lyrics that jumped out to me or made me say “that was a really great/interesting idea”, which is odd because I’d say that’s something you usually are pretty good at, I felt rather that the lyrics while remaining to the central theme and always relevant to the song, didn’t really stick out in any certain way either (neither bad or good). And while I do think that the song is an interesting read, I don’t really agree with you where you said it is more a song about chess with romantic metaphors as opposed to a song about romance with chess metaphors. Overall the song is very comparable to Shadow by f(x) I think (the concept of each song is pretty much the same but rather with a different metaphor used instead) and I think the main thing that makes that song walk the line and be very interesting and playful with it’s lyrics is that it doesn’t use any gendered pronoun language. With that, it’s very easy for the song to walk that line and read in both ways as a song about a shadow, but also a romantic song. Whereas here, with the heavy use of gendered pronouns throughout your song (they are in every section of the song apart from the first verse, with which I would argue the first verse is the strongest and excels at your aim the best) it’s hard to detach from the image of the counterpart to the song being a “he”, with which the picture that is assumed in your mind is that of a man, rather than a chess piece, because if you’re a referring to a chess piece you are more likely to use language such a it/they, which I think would’ve made your song stronger overall and more fitting with the concept. Hopefully I explained that properly and it makes sense, but I guess the tldr is that when you constantly refer to a “he” throughout your song you ultimately end up making the read imagine a man, as opposed to a chess piece, through which I felt the song didn’t appear more as a song about chess as opposed to a song about a romantic relationship, and didn’t have the balance and ambiguity of something like Shadow by f(x). All that said, the song itself is still strong, there were just some missed opportunities I feel, but the overall idea and the execution is good, it just perhaps could have been taken further and pushed more into its originality and concept. 

 

@beatinglikeadrum - Running Away From the Sun

Yup no doubt at all that this is better than last round!

I think you’ve done the challenge well and that this is fitting for Audrey, it’s got that confessional and personal “I wrote this in my bedroom” vibe that she is going for, but I also find it to be quite suited for Yin Yin too with how it looks at the darker side of the success, and wanting to escape it (which was one of Yin Yin’s main themes). That said, it doesn’t matter who you submitted it for, as it’s a good interpretation of the challenge regardless. Lyrically I think this is strong too, there’s lots of really lovely imagery, and I enjoy the overall environmental and natural feel to the song, from the mentions of waterfalls, the Milky Way, water, the ocean, wind, the sky, and of course the sun; overall this was all very nice and I think worked well with your song and also the story being told and the central theme. Altogether, I think this is a good entry and certainly shows your skills as a writer much better than last round, of course it’s a disservice to compare this to your submission last round because that was obviously more of an irreverent entry, but it’s evident that you clicked with this challenge easier and I’m glad you did, and hopefully it’s the same for the future rounds! As a final note, I’d love to see you go even further and push yourself to write a more poetic song; I felt a few poetic hints here and I think it would be interesting to see you really channel your poetic side and see how deep you can take it, that is if you wish to.

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4 hours ago, beatinglikeadrum said:

@Jackson carpets made of stones = sacrifice to be famous, walking a painthful path 

stars = famous people

green and gold = money and jewelry

 

thanks for the clarification :heart2:

3 hours ago, Kylie Jenner said:

Nevermind soundcloud is down :rip: 

oop i didn't even notice :skull: 

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A few more reviews for the girls x my last few will come by early tomorrow

 

If it looks weird or the text is ****** it’s because I posted from mobile. If there are typos, no there aren’t. 
 

Also I believe the third challenge is coming any moment now…

:celestial3:

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 Emblem-Banner-S2.png

 

Welcome, writers! This past week you've all been busily crafting demos for ex-members of the global girl group BLɅϽKGO⅃D.

Your efforts are being carefully scrutinised by label heads and the girls' mentors (us judges), and maybe the girls if they're lucky.

However, the show must go on! Aria Thurney, Diana Diamond, Audrey Onyx, and Yin Yin aren't your sole focus, so let's move along.

 

Without further ado, let me introduce you all to the third round of Season 2...

Ribbon-Challenge-S2-R3.png

 

Another Golden Hit original challenge! It's now September, which means for most hitmakers it's the beginning of the Fall/Autumn season (or Spring for us in the southern hemisphere). One of the most well-known and appreciated characteristics of these seasons is the noticeably beautiful changes deciduous trees undergo when transitioning between Summer and Winter, so we've decided to appreciate them before they're gone for a few months. :celestial3:

 

In short, this challenge will focus on songs inspired by trees, and the important characteristics associated with them. Take deciduous trees for example, perhaps you may choose to write a song inspired by their impermanence. Despite its name (which sounded better on paper than "Tree challenge"), this challenge is open to other sources of inspiration derived from trees, such as an evergreen tree's eternal promise, or the use of a tree as a central element in a narrative-driven storytelling style song. Ensure you are using your tree(s) of choice as the source of inspiration for your song, rather than slotting it into a verse as an afterthought. As always, you can be as literal or metaphorical as you desire.

 

Judge's Tips

📀 Where to start? Here is a list of 101 Different Types of Trees. Something here may pique your interest, so you're not barking up the wrong tree. :eli:
📀 While name-dropping your tree of choice in the title or lyrics of your song is fine, try making us connect to its characteristics, rather than reading it!
📀 There are plenty of hit songs inspired by trees, however we're not looking for 15 rewrites of Taylor Swift's "willow"! Originality is important.

 

Songs due via Google Form submission by Thu. Sep 8, 11:59PM EST

 

fountain and I were personally very excited about this challenge, so we hope it has the same impact on you all. Nature can be very inspiring! The top three submissions will earn their writers a Hit Token, so make sure to submit for your chance at one of those. If you have not yet signed up for Golden Hit: Season 2, that's fine! Just submit an entry and we'll add you to the sign-ups list.

 

Emblem-Crest-S2.png

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Love this challenge :jonnycat:

 

there are so many ways this can be interpreted and taken. really looking forward to seeing your trees grow!

 

:celestial3::celestial3::celestial3:

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17 minutes ago, Aurora said:

 Emblem-Banner-S2.png

 

Welcome, writers! This past week you've all been busily crafting demos for ex-members of the global girl group BLɅϽKGO⅃D.

Your efforts are being carefully scrutinised by label heads and the girls' mentors (us judges), and maybe the girls if they're lucky.

However, the show must go on! Aria Thurney, Diana Diamond, Audrey Onyx, and Yin Yin aren't your sole focus, so let's move along.

 

Without further ado, let me introduce you all to the third round of Season 2...

Ribbon-Challenge-S2-R3.png

 

Another Golden Hit original challenge! It's now September, which means for most hitmakers it's the beginning of the Fall/Autumn season (or Spring for us in the southern hemisphere). One of the most well-known and appreciated characteristics of these seasons is the noticeably beautiful changes deciduous trees undergo when transitioning between Summer and Winter, so we've decided to appreciate them before they're gone for a few months. :celestial3:

 

In short, this challenge will focus on songs inspired by trees, and the important characteristics associated with them. Take deciduous trees for example, perhaps you may choose to write a song inspired by their impermanence. Despite its name (which sounded better on paper than "Tree challenge"), this challenge is open to other sources of inspiration derived from trees, such as an evergreen tree's eternal promise, or the use of a tree as a central element in a narrative-driven storytelling style song. Ensure you are using your tree(s) of choice as the source of inspiration for your song, rather than slotting it into a verse as an afterthought. As always, you can be as literal or metaphorical as you desire.

 

Judge's Tips

? Where to start? Here is a list of 101 Different Types of Trees. Something here may pique your interest, so you're not barking up the wrong tree. :eli:
? While name-dropping your tree of choice in the title or lyrics of your song is fine, try making us connect to its characteristics, rather than reading it!
? There are plenty of hit songs inspired by trees, however we're not looking for 15 rewrites of Taylor Swift's "willow"! Originality is important.

 

Songs due via Google Form submission by Thu. Sep 8, 11:59PM EST

 

fountain and I were personally very excited about this challenge, so we hope it has the same impact on you all. Nature can be very inspiring! The top three submissions will earn their writers a Hit Token, so make sure to submit for your chance at one of those. If you have not yet signed up for Golden Hit: Season 2, that's fine! Just submit an entry and we'll add you to the sign-ups list.

 

Emblem-Crest-S2.png

It has come to my attention that, much like a deciduous tree's fallen leaves, some names fell off the tag list between rounds. This has been fixed! Re-tagging just in case this broke any mentions. :celestial3:
 

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Not gonna lie I hate this challenge because I don’t know that much about trees but I think I have an idea but don’t know how it will go lol 

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Can we expect a "Roots Grow Deeper" follow-up @Achilles.? :jonny5:

5 minutes ago, Julia Fox said:

Not gonna lie I hate this challenge because I don’t know that much about trees but I think I have an idea but don’t know how it will go lol 

That's the beauty of Golden Hit, we're all about experimentation! If you provide a similar conceptual unique perspective as you did with "Crying Birds", I'll absolutely be excited to see what you come up with. :duca:

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6 minutes ago, Julia Fox said:

Not gonna lie I hate this challenge because I don’t know that much about trees but I think I have an idea but don’t know how it will go lol 

Here’s some fun facts my love, apparently there are over 3 trillion trees and they cover 31% of Earth x

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@Remmy about to serve us "Climb You Like a Tree", cooking up references to "roots" and "sap" as we speak, I fear. :matty:

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Hold on, I googled how much of Earth is covered in water and it says 71%
 

Now, I don’t know much about algebra, but I know that 31% + 71% doesn’t add up :confused:

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2 minutes ago, fountain said:

Hold on, I googled how much of Earth is covered in water and it says 71%
 

Now, I don’t know much about algebra, but I know that 31% + 71% doesn’t add up :confused:

You didn't have to expose the underwater tree people like that...

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I wonder what is faster: an actual hurricane or hurricane326's pen? :jonny4:

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15 minutes ago, Aurora said:

@Remmy about to serve us "Climb You Like a Tree", cooking up references to "roots" and "sap" as we speak, I fear. :matty:

i'm not doing this one I fear!!! maybe round 4 :)

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22 minutes ago, hurricane326 said:

Already wrote mine based on live oaks!

 

How black holes dotted I-10
Those hollowed out homes

i… 

 

us: *typing the challenge post*

hurricane326: about to submit! 
:deadbanana4:

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52 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Can we expect a "Roots Grow Deeper" follow-up @Achilles.? :jonny5:

We wish. 

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1 hour ago, fountain said:

I think the main thing that makes that song walk the line and be very interesting and playful with it’s lyrics is that it doesn’t use any gendered pronoun language. With that, it’s very easy for the song to walk that line and read in both ways as a song about a shadow, but also a romantic song. Whereas here, with the heavy use of gendered pronouns throughout your song (they are in every section of the song apart from the first verse, with which I would argue the first verse is the strongest and excels at your aim the best) it’s hard to detach from the image of the counterpart to the song being a “he”, with which the picture that is assumed in your mind is that of a man, rather than a chess piece, because if you’re a referring to a chess piece you are more likely to use language such a it/they, which I think would’ve made your song stronger overall and more fitting with the concept.

I would like to comment that "he", in the context of the song, is the opponent in the chess game, not a pawn on the board.

 

Given, it wouldn't be hard to switch "he" to "they", so I'll take the gendered language part.

 

Thank you for your review

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7 hours ago, Jackson said:

Hug – Checkmate

I also wanted to comment that I did read this, but I was on my phone at the time and dealing with ATRL mobile is a beast I do not feel like battling. I appreciate your sentiment about not lacking originality, because that's something I think I criticize myself for in my head a lot. I know I have a grasp on basic structure and I can at least write something that's baseline good, but I feel like I can't really ever do something that's memorable or great.

 

Really not trying to sound like a suck up here (because this is pretty well-documented!) but I personally love 8th's writing and I think he has that factor I want in my own writing. Something more than just being well-written. It's exciting, interesting, and compelling, so if he has something to say to me to help me get there, I'm doing my best to listen. ?

 

Not that I think I exactly nailed it here (because fountain brought up a great point that nothing is particularly memorable this week - where I disagree with them is that it's something I am usually good at. I NEVER have any interesting one-liners and frankly I don't think I ever will :skull:), but I'll never succeed if I don't even attempt so here we are.

 

Apologies for the essay but I didn't wanna triple post/edit my last post so here we are x

 

--

 

I ALREADY WROTE YOZAKURA WTF AM I GONNA DO NOW...

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legggg i’m so excited for this! i already have this song of mine from 2017 which is mostly about f*cking outdoors on a mountain

:eli:

i have other ideas too of course lol

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1 hour ago, fountain said:

Hold on, I googled how much of Earth is covered in water and it says 71%
 

Now, I don’t know much about algebra, but I know that 31% + 71% doesn’t add up :confused:

Maybe it means 31% of Earth's land is covered in trees. So it's like 71% water, 29% land, and of the 29% land, 31% of that is trees? I was thinking about this for a while which is why I decided to respond <3

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1 hour ago, Hug said:

where I disagree with them is that it's something I am usually good at. I NEVER have any interesting one-liners and frankly I don't think I ever will :skull:

Lies, I definitely know you to serve some hard hitting lines! Specifically can point out To Make a Man… from Season 1, and also something as recent as Lilith from last round as good examples, with their complex topics being delivered through really great, interesting and nuanced lyrics. :fan:

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