JoeAg Posted December 2 Posted December 2 seasonal depression always kicks my ass like a b*tch but I'm gonna be going home to maryland at the end of the month to see all four of my older siblings and my parents, which is sure to be quite the experience… I haven't been back in my hometown in MD since november 2021, and i'm nervous it'll just make me feel down. the ephemerality of all the good times, the nostalgia… but i'm still gonna be cautiously excited. tonight's a rough one though cause this floater security guard who i cannot STAND (he's hyperreligious christian and last week he winced after every answer he got from my resident who i'm very good friends with when he inquired about how gay men have sex… you can't make this sh*t up) told me out of the blue that i "look tired." i'm not f*cking tired. his dumbass also just remarked "oh you're not in the mood to be at work tonight huh?" no i'm with being here! what i'm not in the mood for is interacting with YOU anyway, in addition to that i HATE how social media is with my body dysmorphia lately. it affects me so much and it's so bad cause i keep seeing other people who i work out just as much as and my brain keeps telling me that they automatically look so much better than me and they always get more f*cking likes than me anyway so i'm just suchjdhxbejxhbenxhnxbc MESS 1
JoeAg Posted Sunday at 02:05 AM Posted Sunday at 02:05 AM I hate seeing people living my dream all the f*cking time on instagram stories and stuff. why am i friends with so many other musicians? well i know why: connections. relatability. networking. blah blah f*cking blah. it sucks seeing them be in recording studios and yet i'm just a joke. i know i know i KNOW we all achieve what we need to achieve on our own time and okay yeah I get it i'm not entitled to have a recording deal or what the f*ck ever but i'm drunk and sad and have laryngitis and want people to love my music okay
Hollywood. Posted 14 hours ago Posted 14 hours ago I hate how anytime a day even goes remotely sideways that my first thought is to drink and I get really irritable when I don't and it's turned people off. I'm surprised my husband even puts up with me cause I know I'm terrible. Also got a nice warning from a doctor that I've taken on too much stress and am on a crash course for serious health issues if I don't do anything about it. But with how unaffordable life has become how does one even reduce stress? The positive note of the day is that I do have a person who understands my horrible moods and how to talk me off that alcoholic ledge. 1
Europe Posted 14 hours ago Posted 14 hours ago 21 minutes ago, Hollywood. said: But with how unaffordable life has become how does one even reduce stress? A lot of stress reduction activities are completely free or very cheap. 1. Breathing exercises (free) 2. MIndfulness practice (free) 3. Meditation (free) 4. Physical exercise - free if you do it outside or at home 5. Journaling your feelings (free) You can find a lot of free resources on youtube on how to do any of these with good examples. 1
Hollywood. Posted 13 hours ago Posted 13 hours ago 12 minutes ago, Europe said: A lot of stress reduction activities are completely free or very cheap. 1. Breathing exercises (free) 2. MIndfulness practice (free) 3. Meditation (free) 4. Physical exercise - free if you do it outside or at home 5. Journaling your feelings (free) You can find a lot of free resources on youtube on how to do any of these with good examples. Thank you The doctor also gave me a list of free resources as well. At the top - being therapy. (I can get it for free through my benefits at work). The other issue is I have an issue of keeping things to myself and not being open, as I weirdly feel offloading my emotions on others is burden. It's part of why I ended up being dependent on alcohol in the first place. So I guess it's a sign I should re-consider joining those support groups again.
diemoehre Posted 12 hours ago Posted 12 hours ago On 12/8/2024 at 3:05 AM, JoeAg said: I hate seeing people living my dream all the f*cking time on instagram stories and stuff. why am i friends with so many other musicians? well i know why: connections. relatability. networking. blah blah f*cking blah. it sucks seeing them be in recording studios and yet i'm just a joke. i know i know i KNOW we all achieve what we need to achieve on our own time and okay yeah I get it i'm not entitled to have a recording deal or what the f*ck ever but i'm drunk and sad and have laryngitis and want people to love my music okay Would a social media break maybe help? Or muting these people on Instagram so you still follow them but don't see these images anymore? If that's not an option remember they probably have bad days as well but don't post about them. Instagram is usually super curated to show the best version of ourselves. 1
diemoehre Posted 12 hours ago Posted 12 hours ago 51 minutes ago, Hollywood. said: The other issue is I have an issue of keeping things to myself and not being open, as I weirdly feel offloading my emotions on others is burden. Maybe Journalling, like the other user suggested, might be a good start for you then. It reduces some of the barriers in my experience. When I had feelings that were to hard to just tell my therapist I would write them down and give her the paper or read them out loud for her. Maybe it helps! I know starting a routine is difficult. I always have a bunch of reminders on my phone. Wishing you all the best! 1
JoeAg Posted 10 hours ago Posted 10 hours ago 2 hours ago, diemoehre said: Would a social media break maybe help? Or muting these people on Instagram so you still follow them but don't see these images anymore? If that's not an option remember they probably have bad days as well but don't post about them. Instagram is usually super curated to show the best version of ourselves. FAIR tbh yeah a social media break might be beneficial but the issue is i'm so addicted to it when I'm at work and not in the mood to read, I'm either on here or twitter or reddit or insta… it's messy! and yeah I have muted some stories recently of friends who I know are performing very frequently. I have sooo much down time at work and I'm asleep most of the day so audheyhxiegyxbd
Hollywood. Posted 2 hours ago Posted 2 hours ago 10 hours ago, diemoehre said: Maybe Journalling, like the other user suggested, might be a good start for you then. It reduces some of the barriers in my experience. When I had feelings that were to hard to just tell my therapist I would write them down and give her the paper or read them out loud for her. Maybe it helps! I know starting a routine is difficult. I always have a bunch of reminders on my phone. Wishing you all the best! I try to do writing at least 3 times a week as its also a nice way of 'escapism' too.
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