Why are feminine gays discriminated against by "masc" gays?

545 posts in this topic

I will open this thread up by saying that I would be deemed a "feminine" gay guy. I am obviously gay on first glance I'm also skinny, and dress well. I fit the stereotype. I don't face much discrimination anymore by members of the general public, at least to my face. I'm not in your face / completely OTT / I'm just me, and I'm a male who falls in love with other males.

 

Why do we, feminine gay men, in general face discrimination from other gay men who are classed as "masc", "norm", etc. ATRL is rife with it, "no ****, no fems" on GRINDR & TINDER we also face complete dismissal from "masculine" gays / abuse from the "mascs" etc.

 

Why is seen as a bad thing to be a feminine gay? I'm just me and I fall into this category, I don't have a problem with that, why do gays have a problem with me fitting this stereotype? Other people don't vocalise it, to my face at least.

 

There is complete separation in our community, Twitter / Grindr / Tumblr / Tinder and even ATRL all showcase that. I don't even have many gay friends, if any at all because I feel like within my own "category" I am constantly judged and immediately disliked because I am seen as "competition" or a "threat". Hooking up is irrelevant to me, and I don't look at anyone, gay or straight with that idealistic approach of hooking up immediately. I feel like I'm looked at like that from other gays and it hurts. 

 

Does anyone else feel the same? Does anyone who falls in the "masc" category feel like they are discriminated against by the fems? What's your POV?

 

 

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Internalized misogyny and homophobia.

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ppl don't wanna date you is not discrimination lol 

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because they are so annoying

 

the other day my friend brought along some of her fem friends and **** they did my head in they are so over the top and just a total head punish

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In a way, misogyny is a thing among gays, too. They consider manly features and behavior the only things that's "desirable" and something people should "strive for", and feminine features as something that is "weaker". :shakeno:

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Well I only find masculine guys attractive if  I am being honest. But no one should ever discriminate against another person just because they're feminine...

 

like if I liked femininity I would just date a girl lol.  But i like MEN

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It all comes down to culturally ingrained misogyny. Female = bad/degrading

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Don't lose faith sis, there are a handful of "masc" gay men out there who are openly into feminine guys.

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Internalised homophobia/misogyny. They want to be seen as straight even though they're not (not all masc gays just the ones who discriminate against more feminine gays). By discrimination I mean actively being hateful towards them. If they don't want to date Fem guys then that's upto them.

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Just now, Qudron said:

ppl don't wanna date you is not discrimination lol 

It's much deeper than just dating. Fem gays are often looked down upon by masc gays because they fit the stereotypes and they're excluded from gay spaces that are overrun by masc gays. Not to mention fem gays face far more prejudice than a masc gay male.

 

I think it's because of internalized misogyny more than anything, gender is really the root of it all. Female = weak, bad in the eyes of society 

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You shouldn't see it as discrimination. Your personality type isn't going to be appealing or even compatible to everybody.

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1 minute ago, Qudron said:

ppl don't wanna date you is not discrimination lol 

I'm sorry where did I ever have that written in my post? I mentioned APPS, but using the terms "no ****, no fems, no twink" IS discrimination. 

 

Look on a thread on ATRL where people DISCRIMINATE against "feminine" gays.

 

"Feminine" is used as an INSULT and an INSULT is a type of prejudice and discrimination.

 

 

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At a simple level because if you're gay you're attracted to other males, and if a guy is feminine that's literally what you're not into. You can get into a discussion about gender and expression and stuff but thats my theory

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Misogyny.

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Heterosexual ideals blend into homosexual ones.  Masculinity in men = ideal. Feminity in men = weak/annoying/extra/pathetic etc.

 

Also generally gay men are more attracted to masculinity since it is considered to be intrinsic in men. Attraction to men = idealising masculine qualities. 

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To me, and i'm not masc by any standard, but I'm not attract to feminine guys because i'm not attracted to anything feminine.. hence why i'm attracted to men. 

:rip:

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5 minutes ago, fanboyn8 said:

Well I only find masculine guys attractive if  I am being honest. But no one should ever discriminate against another person just because they're feminine...

 

like if I liked femininity I would just date a girl lol.  But i like MEN

Nn go **** yourself. :)

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1 minute ago, Dey said:

 

:clap3:

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1 minute ago, Dey said:

 

:chick3::clap3:

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i ****ing hate this. I wish femininity in gays was celebrated within the community, there is nothing I love more then seeing a little baby gay fagging out  in a gay club, living his life. Those masc gays literally are the pits and for putting all fem gays in a box, yes there are some that are a little OTT but that just because theyre young and stupid, it also goes the other way I find it very off putting when I see gays acting extra macho, its just not the tea tbh.

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Who cares, that leaves us desired by the bisexual/curious straight men who are truly Masc and arent desperate for validation from the gay community 

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3 minutes ago, Dey said:

 

:clap3: 

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Personally I don't get along with most fem gays purely because of personality differences. A lot of them are too superficial and snobbish. The few fem gays that I am friends with tho are OTT but at heart they're very nice people. 

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