swiftie13 Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 (edited) Those great whites, they have big teeth Oh they bite you Thought you said that you would always be in love But you're not in love no more Did it frighten you? How we kissed when we danced on the light up floor On the light up floor... Edited March 3, 2017 by swiftie13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 I'm hungry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceremonials Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 so like what is happening ???????????? ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 Just now, ceremonials said: so like what is happening ???????????? ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ mine are nearly done and then results (without citrus if he doesn't show up soon) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceremonials Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 7 minutes ago, keshaspearsxo said: mine are nearly done and then results (without citrus if he doesn't show up soon) Fuq my mouth with an egg roll mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swiftie13 Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 (edited) Those great whites, they have big teeth Oh they bite you Thought you said that you would always be in love But you're not in love no more Did it frighten you? How we kissed when we danced on the light up floor On the light up floor... Edited March 3, 2017 by swiftie13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swiftie13 Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 I’M WAITING FOR IT THAT TALENT I WANT IT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 come thru limoncello @Citrus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceremonials Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Waiting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Temporal Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Me leaving results after sabotaging Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 It's midday Friday here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ughgabriel Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 I'm not getting the Moonchild treatment @ceremonials I will not allow it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 *forms prayer circle for Diamond Hit, hands out popcorn to everyone* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Temporal Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Where is Ventitonic to make "Diamond Hit is OVER" AVIs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 1 minute ago, Temporal said: Where is Ventitonic to make "Diamond Hit is OVER" AVIs Lemme take a course in graphic design, I'll probably get my degree before results are posted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 Pears Reviews -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOCyvf7kl2g @funnellegs - Okay this is a bop. You made a great track here. It terms of embodying an instrumental though, I'm not sure since it was an upbeat track to more somber lyrics. I agree with you about it being a nice juxtaposition though. Melodically I think you did a good job and made something pretty catchy. In terms of lyrics though I think it was a little too general - rather than explaining the backstory and what lead to these feelings. @ceremonials - Wow I think your track and entry probably fit the best and compliment each other perfectly. This is up there as one of your best entries imo. I prefer this a lot more to your more narrative heavy songs. While there was a bit of narrative here too, this was a nice medium between some great lyricism, imagery, and a plot line. Great job. @Corsola - I thought this started off amazingly with the first four lines - but then you kinda went back to going overboard and getting kinda dramatic. I understand that it's metaphors and whatnot but the beauty in those first 4 lines was really understated and I wish you could've continued it like that. Your imagery use was quite good but a little detached from the idea of "home" I think, since one wouldn't really relate deserts and home together. @Aurora - Hmmm, tbh I'm a little disappointed in this entry. I think for me it moves away from the style that I've ADORED lately and was 100% here for so I think in general I was expecting / hoping for a little more. I don't think it's necessarily bad in any way but it just doesn't excite me in the way some of your other entries have. With your other entries I've felt like you've really created a world and I can see it - but with this I don't really get that. "Propaganda poster just push us and persuade us" was a highlight but the lyricism in generally didn't really blow me away, although I do think the mood fit the instrumental and kind of sexual tense theme that I can imagine being done by some singers. I also love that you still mix things up and add components like rap sections, it always keeps it unique. @ughgabriel - I think you did this challenge quite well. While it's not your most lyrically strong entry, it holds it's own because I think you embodied the track quite well, you captured the sense of survival and mystery both really well, while also staying quite true to your own sense of style this season, rather than feeling as though you were conforming to the style of the instrumental. I don't really have much else to say idk. @Jackson - This is definitely what I was looking for in terms of personal. What I like is that this feels pretty genuine. You could've been trite and tried to turn it dramatic and whatnot, but it feels real. I feel pretty similarly about your imagery - it's all quite natural and perfectly fits the feel and the story. I find this entry pretty refreshing. "As another sunset sets off beyond the plains / I look back at the skyline as its figure calls my name" - you did that. I think this could've been similar to Bottle in that it needed some kind of 'peak' to it - for example, kind of expanding on the thought process going on in the chorus a little more in a bridge would've been great - but I think the outro does a good enough job of providing more substance (it also kinda reminds me a lot of the type of outros I write, so I was here for that). The only things I'd slightly criticise are the "home/house" theme which is a little banal, and the way you change your pronouns in the second verse from singular to plural - I didn't really understand why that was, it doesn't seem to make sense, but it doesn't particularly take away from the entry either. Just something to point out. But all together strong. The song pretty much fit the instrumental. It has the same kind of light, airy feel that I get and it has the same pace as your entry in terms of following the same structure. @8thPrince - Uh the only thing I can criticise here is your instrumental choice. While you have a lot of different sections throughout your song, the instrumental felt way too streamline. Your song also feels a lot more solemn than what the instrumental was giving. But, besides this, you're still lyrically on point. You write such great punchlines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Wait, results UNCANCELLED! The good pear came thru with the tea! If only other fruits could be so... fruitful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 I don't really have a lot to say cause this was a strong week I feel. But if you have any questions feel free to ask. That'd probably be a better way of giving you feedback in this instance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Temporal Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 1 minute ago, keshaspearsxo said: Pears Reviews -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOCyvf7kl2g @funnellegs - Okay this is a bop. You made a great track here. It terms of embodying an instrumental though, I'm not sure since it was an upbeat track to more somber lyrics. I agree with you about it being a nice juxtaposition though. Melodically I think you did a good job and made something pretty catchy. In terms of lyrics though I think it was a little too general - rather than explaining the backstory and what lead to these feelings. @ceremonials - Wow I think your track and entry probably fit the best and compliment each other perfectly. This is up there as one of your best entries imo. I prefer this a lot more to your more narrative heavy songs. While there was a bit of narrative here too, this was a nice medium between some great lyricism, imagery, and a plot line. Great job. @Corsola - I thought this started off amazingly with the first four lines - but then you kinda went back to going overboard and getting kinda dramatic. I understand that it's metaphors and whatnot but the beauty in those first 4 lines was really understated and I wish you could've continued it like that. Your imagery use was quite good but a little detached from the idea of "home" I think, since one wouldn't really relate deserts and home together. @Aurora - Hmmm, tbh I'm a little disappointed in this entry. I think for me it moves away from the style that I've ADORED lately and was 100% here for so I think in general I was expecting / hoping for a little more. I don't think it's necessarily bad in any way but it just doesn't excite me in the way some of your other entries have. With your other entries I've felt like you've really created a world and I can see it - but with this I don't really get that. "Propaganda poster just push us and persuade us" was a highlight but the lyricism in generally didn't really blow me away, although I do think the mood fit the instrumental and kind of sexual tense theme that I can imagine being done by some singers. I also love that you still mix things up and add components like rap sections, it always keeps it unique. @ughgabriel - I think you did this challenge quite well. While it's not your most lyrically strong entry, it holds it's own because I think you embodied the track quite well, you captured the sense of survival and mystery both really well, while also staying quite true to your own sense of style this season, rather than feeling as though you were conforming to the style of the instrumental. I don't really have much else to say idk. @Jackson - This is definitely what I was looking for in terms of personal. What I like is that this feels pretty genuine. You could've been trite and tried to turn it dramatic and whatnot, but it feels real. I feel pretty similarly about your imagery - it's all quite natural and perfectly fits the feel and the story. I find this entry pretty refreshing. "As another sunset sets off beyond the plains / I look back at the skyline as its figure calls my name" - you did that. I think this could've been similar to Bottle in that it needed some kind of 'peak' to it - for example, kind of expanding on the thought process going on in the chorus a little more in a bridge would've been great - but I think the outro does a good enough job of providing more substance (it also kinda reminds me a lot of the type of outros I write, so I was here for that). The only things I'd slightly criticise are the "home/house" theme which is a little banal, and the way you change your pronouns in the second verse from singular to plural - I didn't really understand why that was, it doesn't seem to make sense, but it doesn't particularly take away from the entry either. Just something to point out. But all together strong. The song pretty much fit the instrumental. It has the same kind of light, airy feel that I get and it has the same pace as your entry in terms of following the same structure. @8thPrince - Uh the only thing I can criticise here is your instrumental choice. While you have a lot of different sections throughout your song, the instrumental felt way too streamline. Your song also feels a lot more solemn than what the instrumental was giving. But, besides this, you're still lyrically on point. You write such great punchlines. bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fountain Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 Just now, Temporal said: bump don't touch what you cant afford Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Wow thanks pears. Your preview had me shook Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Temporal Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 2 minutes ago, keshaspearsxo said: don't touch what you cant afford touch me like you do, tuh-tuh-touch me like you DOoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Not the best review ever. It's been a mixed bag this week, that's for sure. I have no idea where I'm gonna end up, probably 5th. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 I just realised I didn't really comment on the review itself, and I like to do that because the judges take time to do them, so thanks @keshaspearsxo. It was definitely a different approach to what I've been doing for most of this season and it was nice to try something different but I get where you're coming from and agree. The "propaganda" lyric was one of my faves too. I won't be doing a rap for a while so here's to hoping I can find other ways to incorporate unique elements into songs. I've been really inspired in the past week so I think if I make it to the next round I should have some more stuff you'll enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATRL Username Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 anyone wanna dub lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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