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Taylor realises it's too late to call off Katy assassination

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Panicking Taylor Swift Realizes It Too Late To Call Off Assassination After Katy Perry Makes Peace Offering

NEW YORK—Her hands shaking as she dialed several numbers written on a piece of paper in an effort to get in touch with the goons she had hired, a panicking Taylor Swift reportedly realized Wednesday that it was too late to call off the assassination of Katy Perry after her longtime rival made a peace offering. “****, ****, ****—Bruno, is that you? Call it off, call it off! Peacock! Peacock! Tell them not to shoot!” the 29-year-old pop star was heard to yell into her cell phone after seeing Perry’s Instagram post where her former enemy had tagged her and written “Peace At Last,” before being told by her contact, “I am sorry, Ms. Swift, but the die has been cast.” “Come on, please tell them I don’t need them anymore. What do you mean all the fail-safes are no longer possible? Look, I made a mistake. Things have changed, I don’t need her to die now. You’ll still get your money—I’ll double your fee! Please just don’t kill her.” At press time, Swift made a last-ditch attempt to forestall the assassination by frantically calling Perry to tell her not to sing “Swish Swish” at a concert, only to be told that Perry was already onstage and would start the song in five minutes. 

 

https://entertainment.theonion.com/panicking-taylor-swift-realizes-it-too-late-to-call-off-1835453027 

 

 :'(

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turn this into a movie, its so tense :gaycat5:

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This is kind of weird for an Onion article :deadbanana4: Taylor Nation will be on their ass in no time

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I love the Onion :dies:

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1 minute ago, BadX said:

 

 

Trump :duca:

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we stan the onion

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i was at the nashville ss and taylor told us all that she hates katy and one girl started saying she loves katy and taylor made her bodyguard take her outside and then we heard a gunshot a few minutes later but taylor said it was unrelated and told us not to tell anyone

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And they say the Hive is evil :skull:

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5 hours ago, BadX said:

 

 

5 hours ago, nocturnalanimal said:

 

Trump :duca:

We are not that lucky. But I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

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3 hours ago, Bayouboy said:

And they say the Hive is evil :skull:

The Hive is indeed evil :skull:

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