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Song of the Season 01 | Round 2 - Heaven's Mirror (pg. 35!)

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1 minute ago, Aurora said:

This is your chance gurl. :duca: The **** I wrote when I started writing was the lowest of the low, bottom-of-the-barrel genetic **** about "love feeling like a whirlwind" and wanting somebody to "forget they got a girlfriend" (break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored who?) lmao. If you do change your mind, feel free to share anything you have in a PM and I'll let you know what I think. :matty:

I would've been eliminated here for some of my first stuff :skull: Most people here have at least some grasp on meter and rhyming which just makes me feel even dumber in hindsight for having such lengthy lines with ZERO rhythm and not even rhyming when I first began. I haven't seen ONE person who is as technique-incompetent as I was when I started so there's that. 

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@Corsola thank you again for another helpful review. Definitely agree with the critique and I struggled with the words a bit because I was so nervous about doing these people justice. Thank you again!

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11 minutes ago, Corsola said:

Go ahead. Happy birthday by the way! 

Thank you Cors!

 

 

Sent btw. :celestial4: Feel free to drag me.

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Well hopefully y’all get a cackle out of my submission :deadbanana4: it’s done 

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37 minutes ago, Corsola said:

Seaquarium

Was this inspired by “pussc wetteh den a seceryum”?

 

i was going to put that meme in my song :rip: @Callisto.

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38 minutes ago, KatyCatPH said:

It's still the 23rd right? Can I still send? I have my song finished yesterday but was not able to send because you know, it was mu birthday and all.

25 minutes ago, KatyCatPH said:

Thank you Cors!

 

 

Sent btw. :celestial4: Feel free to drag me.

We love a legend. :alexz:

 

25 minutes ago, Corsola said:

I would've been eliminated here for some of my first stuff :skull: Most people here have at least some grasp on meter and rhyming which just makes me feel even dumber in hindsight for having such lengthy lines with ZERO rhythm and not even rhyming when I first began. I haven't seen ONE person who is as technique-incompetent as I was when I started so there's that. 

I'm assuming I didn't see your earliest stuff because I never remembered you being incompetent. :laugh: One of my earliest memories was seeing Afflicted, Inc. and being shook at the concept and execution only for that to be the song which took you out. :tsk:

 

EDIT: Omg it was Misty Mind, my obscure memory betrayed me. :deadbanana4: I knew I saw some of your stuff before you were cut.

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1 minute ago, Aurora said:

We love a legend. :alexz:

 

I'm assuming I didn't see your earliest stuff because I never remembered you being incompetent. :laugh: One of my earliest memories was seeing Afflicted, Inc. and being shook at the concept and execution only for that to be the song which took you out. :tsk:

Well that was round 8 so I had some time :skull: My round 1, 3, ESPECIALLY 5, and somewhat 4, were all very... beginner level (round 2 was randomly cute though!) 

 

I actually didn't get eliminated for Afflicted Inc. though :fan: that was in round 10 with a [REDACTED] title that honestly had my best concept of my debut season but a poor execution nonetheless! 

 

The main lesson is that a novel idea can scam you a long way no matter how unpolished your execution may be! And this is why we encourage EXPERIMENTATION. 

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3 minutes ago, Corsola said:

Well that was round 8 so I had some time :skull: My round 1, 3, ESPECIALLY 5, and somewhat 4, were all very... beginner level (round 2 was randomly cute though!) 

 

I actually didn't get eliminated for Afflicted Inc. though :fan: that was in round 10 with a [REDACTED] title that honestly had my best concept of my debut season but a poor execution nonetheless! 

 

The main lesson is that a novel idea can scam you a long way no matter how unpolished your execution may be! And this is why we encourage EXPERIMENTATION. 

I edited because I realised you couldn't have been eliminated on Afflicted, Inc. because that was for the #Enigma challenge and you made Top 6 which was a bit further than that. We still stan M**** M*** though. But tea, a song with an amazing, unique concept that isn't technically perfect can still be better received than a song which is technically perfect but lacks originality or standout moments. :matty:

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I just submitted mine. It's messy. I used what was gonna be in week 1's choruses part of my 2nd pre-chorus lol.

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2 minutes ago, Aurora said:

I edited because I realised you couldn't have been eliminated on Afflicted, Inc. because that was for the #Enigma challenge and you made Top 6 which was a bit further than that. We still stan M**** M*** though. But tea, a song with an amazing, unique concept that isn't technically perfect can still be better received than a song which is technically perfect but lacks originality or standout moments. :matty:

I would rewrite M**** M**** if I could since I liked the concept, but it's not at the top of my bucket list write now. :matty: 

 

There are so many things I want to write in general so I need to start dropping RELEASES this season because Hug & Minho are dragging me with finished products. My video game soundtrack concept album shall commence in this season. 

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I'm on vacation at the beach this whole week so maybe I'll be more inspired next round.

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26 minutes ago, Corsola said:

I would rewrite M**** M**** if I could since I liked the concept, but it's not at the top of my bucket list write now. :matty: 

 

There are so many things I want to write in general so I need to start dropping RELEASES this season because Hug & Minho are dragging me with finished products. My video game soundtrack concept album shall commence in this season. 

Just drop a tringle next round to make up for the lack of songs thus far. :duca:

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1 hour ago, Aurora said:

We love a legend. :alexz:

Aw, I am no legend compare to y'all.

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thank you Corsola!! ugh legend tingz

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Ok I always get nervous when the first reviews come in. I didn't know what succint meant and was thinking of zucchini instead oop

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3 hours ago, Corsola said:

 

 

@Callisto. - Seaquarium

 

This title is so interesting. This is also very different from your last entry; come through diversity! The idea here was quite cute, and it’s fairly polished on the technical side. The unfortunate thing for me is that the imagery feels a little surface level. There’s SO many things you can do with water imagery and even with a fish theme, but I didn’t really get to see the depths of that here. It’s a really nice concept and the inspiration is also cute, but I think you could’ve committed more to truly diving in and building a scene with imagery to make it FEEL like a seaquarium more with vivid descriptions.

 

I got inside my own head and convinced myself not to go too deep into sea imagery because I was afraid it'd be corny. :lmao:

 

I set myself up.

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I fear the length may be a consistent issue with my song this round :chick3: Kind of makes me wish I'd submitted the original draft (which had only the first half of each of the first two verses) but I didn't feel like that was enough, so alas

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5 hours ago, Corsola said:

@Lukey - Blossom Tree

 

A metaphorical approach to this would’ve elevated this a lot. The blossom tree idea was strong, but I think you should’ve centered the entire thing around being the blossom tree and all of these events are portrayed through certain weather ailments or more. You could even talk about how you’re slowly wilting because of what they are doing to you. It’s a little too straightforward as it stands and introduces metaphors like that which could’ve been used really well but were a bit unfulfilled. The message is one thing in a song/poem, but it’s also important to portray it well rather than sort of just stating it. I will say, the technical side of this was good, so you definitely know how to write.

Appreciate this.

 

Metaphors and I aren't exactly a great couple, but I do understand what you mean.

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Just now, Lukey said:

Appreciate this.

 

Metaphors and I aren't exactly a great couple, but I do understand what you mean.

You don't need metaphors specifically in every entry; I just like to give people examples of how they could've elevated the current entry instead of just saying that it needed more. 

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Just now, Corsola said:

You don't need metaphors specifically in every entry; I just like to give people examples of how they could've elevated the current entry instead of just saying that it needed more. 

Ah no I understand that completely and you are right. Metaphors and such do help elevate the song, I just struggle with them :oh:

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I just submitted. I hope you guys are still accepting. Let's pretend I live in Hawaii :-*

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Just under 40 entries (39) :'( 

 

Thanks tho everyone. Can't wait to truly start the season! 

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