[DvnR]

Grab Your Boomstick: The Zombie Apocalypse May Actually Be Upon Us

By now we've all seen the awful, awful story about the Florida man who was shot to death by police for refusing to stop chewing on another man's face.

We joked around about it being the canary in the mine shaft of an impending zombie apocalypse. But as Tumblr blogger "I Hope Rick Santorum" helpfully points out in an appropriately viral post, this latest incident is not so much a warning shot as it is another in a disconcertingly intensifying stream of zombie-invoking headlines — all from the past two weeks, and all from the Sunshine State.

It all started on 5/16 with an ominous story about a "mysterious rash" at McArthur High School in Hollywood that launched a HazMat investigation. Twleve students and two teachers were treated and released. The source of the rash remains unknown.

Flashfoward two days: HazMat crews were called in to Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport to determine the source of an "unknown chemical" that sent five people to the hospital. Theories abound, but an exact cause was not confirmed.

On 5/20, the first real sign of trouble: 41-year-old Dr. Zachary Bird, was arrested by the Florida Highway Patrol near Orlando and charged with felony battery charges for spitting blood in a patrolman's face. He was also "extremely agitated and enraged," and repeatedly banged his head on the patrol car's plexiglass partition "until he bled."

A few days later, another mystery rash was reported at yet another Broward County school. A HazMat team was once again called in to investigate, and once again left without any concrete answers.

The following day, a "disoriented" Canadian man was arrested aboard an American Airlines plane after he inexpicably attempted to rush the cockpit. The plane had just landed in Miami.

On Saturday, an unidentified homeless man had some 80% of his face bitten off by 31-year-old Rudy Eugene.

And here's the bad news: Whatever's happening in Florida appears to be spreading. The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign tweeted the following the following warning to its students last night: "Hazardous materials released at Institute for Genomic Biology. Escape area if safe to do so. Otherwise seek shelter."

And in Hackensack, New Jersey, today, a man was rushed to the hospital after he reportedly cut out his own intestines and threw them at police officers.

Forget Facebook Stock: Invest in a good bunker.

http://gawker.com/5914059/grab-your-...lly-be-upon-us

Zombie apocalypse coming soon

5/16: McArthur High School HazMat Situation
Students, Teachers Decontaminated After Breaking Out In Rash
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...n_1521764.html

5/19: No confirmation on chemical at Fort Lauderdale International Airport
http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/termina...n-hazmat-scare

5/21: Police: Man bites woman in Westchester http://www.mysuburbanlife.com/westch...in-Westchester

5/23: I-285 reopens after hazmat incident
http://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html

5/23: Man Bites Cousin’s Nose Off
http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/loca...153100125.html

5/24: Second Broward school reports mystery rash http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/2...l-reports.html

5/25: Hazmat Called After Kids Exposed To Pesticide On Bus: Hazmat, EMS Respond To Lake County, FL School
http://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html

5/25: ‘Disoriented’ passenger subdued on flight in Miami http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/25...iami-arrested/

5/26: Naked Man Allegedly Eating Victim’s Face Shot And Killed By Miami Police
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...n_1548359.html

5/26: Florida Doctor Spits Blood at Highway Patrolmen After DUI Arrest http://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-doc...ry?id=16436402

All in same week and same state…. may God be with you Florida.

http://ihopericksantorum.tumblr.com/...se-coming-soon


WE'RE BONED, Y'ALL!

[DvnR]

And yes I know this is all most likely complete ******** but I'd like to appreciate how this is becoming a viral news report.

[Katie]

Girl I am so ready.

Got Zombieland on the DVr for reference.

[zombaland]

Originally posted by Katie

Girl I am so ready.

Got Zombaland on the DVr for reference.

Oh.

[DvnR]

Left 4 Dead 3 better get that promo before E3, though! I can't wait for the Easter Eggs that're gonna be in the game.

[Katie]

Originally posted by zombaland

Oh.

I thought I had actually written that for a sec

[ddeizaguirre]

I live in ****ing Miami. I am terrified. y'all are making me trip

[Yourfavefan]

Reaching for the stars


































Let me lock my door tonight tho

[Owl]

Buy Biophilia while you still can.

[JustAHolyFool]

They coming for us.

[CoolestPerson12]

I'm not ready. I will sing the zombies Born This Way, maybe that will make them less aggressive and let them accept themselves for who they are.

[Br0ckk]

I'm here for this, tbh.

[Owl]

Originally posted by CoolestPerson12

I'm not ready. I will sing the zombies Born This Way, maybe that will make them less aggressive and let them accept themselves for who they are.

omg

[infinite-desire]

Check if it's happening in an area near you.

[JustAHolyFool]

Originally posted by infinite-desire

Check if it's happening in an area near you.

The Midwest looks relatively safe.

[DvnR]

If the ****ing zombie apocalypse comes before I get to buy Sabi's first ****ing album... those zombies are gonna ****ing regret it. I am not the bitch to play around with. I need the 13-18 track life from Ms Sabi before I fend off the lesser undead.

[Katie]

Originally posted by infinite-desire

Check if it's happening in an area near you.

Dammit, Florida!

Can we just, like, cut Florida off and push it into the Ocean? We'll save the residents, but clearly it's not safe

[Fernando.]

OMG YASS I AM READY

[DvnR]

Originally posted by infinite-desire

Check if it's happening in an area near you.

Wait da ****? People need to get their acts together. If this tom-foolery spreads to my state, I'm gonna have to knock some bitches out. I'm NOT getting my nose bitten off, even if it is just the tip. That ****'s weird.

[joelovesmusic]

Oh god I'm so over this!